पिता को समर्पित दिवस, जिसे आज २१ जून को पूरे विश्व में मनाया गया, पर अपने ह्रदय की कठोर बात!! अपना इलाहाबाद शहर विचित्र है. हम कहते कुछ और है लेकिन हमारे मित्र तक वही बात पहुचकर वो बात हो जाती है जो हमने या तो कही नहीं होती या फिर वो चीज़ हमारे साथ होती ही नहीं वैसा ही उस बात का स्वरूप हो जाता है. आश्चर्य तो इस बात का है कि मित्र सक्षम है दूध का दूध और पानी का पानी करने में लेकिन वे भी जो बात का आशय नहीं होता या फिर जो वस्तुस्थिति नहीं होती उसी की चर्चा करते है. अपने पिता से मेरे सिर्फ वैचारिक मतभेद है और होना भी चाहिए लेकिन इसका स्वरूप विकृत नहीं है जैसा मेरा कुछ मित्रो ने दुष्प्रचार शहर में कर रखा है.
नजदीक के मित्रो से अपेक्षा ये होती है कि वो जो सच है उसी का पक्ष रखे ना कि मिथ्या या भ्रामक बातो को फैलाए. मुझे मित्रो से कठोरता से बात करने में कोई दिलचस्पी नहीं लेकिन अगर वे इस तरह का भ्रम मेरे बारे में फैलायेंगे तो उनसे दूरी बनाने में मुझे कोई झिझक नहीं होगी. मेरे पिता मेरे लिए पहले भी आदर्श थे और भविष्य में भी रहेंगे मतभिन्नता के बावजूद. ये शायद मेरे सक्षम मित्र हज़म नहीं करना चाहते, समझना नहीं चाहते, महसूस नहीं करना चाहते. ऐसे मित्र फिर ना तो मुझे जानते है और ना ही मेरे जीवन के किसी पक्ष से उनका कोई सही लगाव है. शायद इसीलिए वे मेरे और मेरे पिताजी के संबंधो का सतही आकलन करने भर में ही ज्यादा दिलचस्पी रखते है. खैर ऐसे लोग ना मुझे ही जानते है और ना मेरे पिताजी को!! एक पीढ़ी और उसके बाद की जो पीढ़ी होती है उसमे वैल्यूज को लेकर उठा पटक तो रहती है और ये रहनी भी चाहिए विकास की धारा को नए आयाम देने के लिए. बस कुछ इसी तरह की बात है अपने और अपने पिताजी के बीच. लेकिन ये कभी भी विकृति के स्तर पर नहीं पंहुचा और उस स्तर पर पंहुचेगा भी नहीं. हा जो लोग सिर्फ और सिर्फ नकारात्मक ख्यालात के चलते इस तरह की कल्पना के लिए विवश है वे सोचने के लिए स्वंतंत्र है लेकिन ऐसे लोगो का उस हकीकत से फासला हमेशा बना रहेगा जो मेरी तरफ है.
चलते चलते इससे इतर बात कहेंगे. आज हम ये देखते है, खासकर कोर्ट केसेज में, कि बच्चो के अधिकार को लेकर पति पत्नी आपस में लम्बी कानूनी लड़ाई लड़ते है जो शायद ना उनके रिश्ते के लिए ठीक होता है और ना बच्चे के भविष्य के लिए. बच्चे के बेहतर भविष्य के लिए आवश्यक है कि बच्चे को माता-पिता का साथ बराबर अनुपात में मिले. ये भी एक खतरनाक ट्रेंड के रूप में उभरा है कि माता पिता अपनी अपनी काबिलियत को प्रमाणित करने के लिए अपने अपने कार्य क्षेत्र में इतने व्यस्त है कि बच्चे की परवरिश अपूर्ण तरीके से हो रही है. इस लाइफस्टाइल से क्या हासिल हो रहा है ये अभिभावकों को गंभीरता से समझना होगा. शायद इसी वजह से समाज का बिखराव कुछ निश्चित सा हो चला है.
MNCs are real culprits: First, for playing havoc with sensibilities of innocent buyers; Second, for brutally misrepresenting facts. They make you feel inferior and then they use the resultant guilt complex to sell soaps, fairness creams, shampoos, deodorants and etc. That’s how they make contribution in growth of a nation. And women are the easy victim in this whole game! Perhaps they never really understand the whole game. Just because MNCs make you available few products in easy way do not absolve them of their gory crimes. After all, it’s they who kept us deliberately in dark about real facts. And instead of true facts brainwashed our minds with wrong ones using ferocious advertising resting on celebrities. I wish to substantiate my views by presenting few examples..
We have so many natural fruit juices like ones prepared from green mangoes, ones prepared from sugarcane, ones prepared from Bael fruit or ones prepared from lemon but then they made Indian kids/youths to believe that soft drinks like Coke and Pepsi are the best!! And yes, when a girl drinks Coke with a boy it creates more seductive impression! One needs not simple milk but milk mixed with Bournvita which works wonders for kids. Many propagate a false view that these natural product are not available and even if they are available consumers are not aware of it, but I like to let you know what’s happening where these are available and where people know about them. In our villages Neem tree’s branch was best to clean teeth but now children use toothpaste and that too fluoride mixed! Everyone knows excess amount of fluoride is lethal for teeth but MNCs will never let you know that. Village women now use shampoos and they feel shy to use mud of Ganges which I rememberl was used quite frequently in my childhood days!! I mean MNCs have changed the whole mindset. Worse, you can notice wrappers of shampoos, soaps etc. on the banks of rivers!
The real danger arises from the conditioning that follows once we become addicted to useless products made by the MNCs. Not a long time back Sarees and Salwars were most desired clothes on part of women in our country. Now most women wear jeans despite the fact that medically it’s ominous. Definitely, they ensure availability of necessary things of everyday use in easy way but at what price? Now modern kids prefer fast foods. So isn’t good food available in kitchen? No it’s available but since women have become working ladies, having no time to make food, MNCs used fast food as healthier and tastier food than home-made foods!
Similarly silicon implants have become order of the day since that makes them more confidant which comes with notion that bigger is beautiful!! Whether or not a woman has values but if she is fair looking, of course, after using certain cream, at least in India, she becomes center of attraction. She not only gets many rich boyfriends but also gets a decent job! And yes, if man is good natured, it means nothing if he has dark colour. So become fair and then every woman will seduce you..And if you own a certain brand of bike or car then that would be much better. What’s the implication? A man with good values and living simply is good for nothing!
So please meditate over it. It’s not the issue of easy availability and it’s also not about vanity alone. It’s more about demeaning the glory of simplicity and simple life. It’s about distorting our mindset and in turn corrupting our living patterns, corrupting our approach towards life.
Views Of Two Readers Who Participated In A Conversation On This Issue On One Prominent Social Networking Website:
All cleaning products are available in nature. Mud of a certain type is the best cleaning agent for both the body and utensils. MNCs would never want people to know natural cleaning products and even if they know, they would indulge in propaganda and make product usage by people fashionable. Its like making people believe that Coke and Pepsi is good for health. Many of the world’s movements are also done similarly and with ulterior motives and feminism stands as a fine example. Feminism and the so-called women’s empowerment is a part of this marketing strategy. They want women to ‘feel’ disempowered and oppressed, fight with the men, work and earn money only to be spent on cosmetics and luxuries. I have seen many women refuse to give money to their husbands for running their families. Many others waste their money on beauty products, shopping, shoes, clothes, bags, perfumes, foreign tours and more. Remember all the Miss worlds, Miss universe shows that were held since decades now. In the 1990s, all of a sudden from nowhere, many of the titles went to Indian women. Post-2000, its gone to other countries mostly. This is a marketing trick to make women in India feel attracted towards their products. Every woman since then wants to be a Miss world.
Carmen Ampuero, Lima, Peru, said:
I am sure that we could find cleaning products in nature but how many are aware of them? Do people know about such naturally available products? Is it feasible to use them? Are they easily available in various parts of the world, especially within close proximity of their surroundings? I think that led to mass manufacturing of such products in artificial way by the MNCs. Yes, vanity is an important factor in growth of cosmetics. Both the sexes around the world are being “USED” to ensure profit gains for MNCs. By the way, of late, I see more men than women tempted by the desire to use cosmetics.
I remember my visit to Delhi in early 90s. I saw billboards which talked about helpline centers for harassed husbands. These billboards initially left me in a state of dismay but I soon realized their worth. It was an awakening of sorts for me, but a greater lot remained a sleeping giant! One of the most difficult tasks is to create a new vision by bringing a change in the attitudes and precepts governing the society. The conditioning of brainwaves, age-old retarded practices and worn-out ideas cannot be changed overnight. That’s why we need a mass movement in organized way to create a new path. The significance of men’s rights movement need to be understood in light of principles controlling mass movements of previous eras, which believed in the fact that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
The Indian society, or for that matter, societies across the globe are still heavily polarized in the favor of females. Men are still treated as supposedly stronger sex and women as a weaker lot, tormented and oppressed by the former. The paid media and government controlled public information services repeatedly churn out lies and manipulate the facts to sustain the myth that women alone face discrimination and harassment. Such anti-human practices ensured that the men’s rights movements be the order of the day! The way feminists employed dirty tricks to project female victim-hood and create mass hysteria ensured that a counter movement came in existence to counteract them effectively. The purpose of men’s movement was not only to eliminate the propaganda and white lies of feminist but to ensure that manhood got the respect it deserved.
Fortunately, the movement has been recognized as an emerging force but it needs to cover a long distance creating bodies and institutions on par with ones born out of feminist movements. It needs to topple biased International bodies, which are promoting anti-societal tendencies in the name of emancipation of women. The average class of people, solely confined to livelihood may not be able to establish this great conspiracy, but MRAs need to understand this dangerous game. This great game involves likes of Arundhati Roy who says that “the feudal India has a huge history and legacy of disrespect and violence against women.” These so-called movers and shakers are systematically destroying cherished Indian institutions. Besides that they are also eroding the self-esteem of men’s community by continuously showing them in bad light.
“Feminism is the intellectual organization of gender hatred, just as Marxism was the intellectual organization of class hatred. Feminism’s business is fashioning weapons to be used against men in society, education, politics, law and divorce court. The feminist aim is to overthrow “patriarchal tyranny.” In this undertaking, the male’s civil rights count for no more than those of the bourgeoisie in Soviet Russia or the Jews in National Socialist Germany.” (‘What civil rights has wrought’ by Paul Craig Roberts, July 26, 2000). Ruth Wisse, a Professor at Harvard University, feels the same: “By defining between men and women in terms of power and competition instead of reciprocity and cooperation, the movement (read women’s liberation movement) tore apart the most basic and fragile contract in human society, the unit from which all other social institutions draw their strength.’ These wise gentlemen make it clear that men’s movement in India needs to be a perfect a mix of intellectual movement in league with revolutionary ways of shaking the institutions.
After all, the men’s organizations are not only against powerful lobby supported by governments in covert and overt fashion but they are also fighting the hidden enemy- one without a face! An enemy that uses government information services like Doordarshan to indulge in Ardhasatya ( Half truths) in name of “Satayameva Jayate” ( Truth Alone Prevails). Sometimes back New Delhi was hit by a rape. A committee got formed, which invited views from representatives of women’s and men’s bodies. Most of the representations there vilified men, and naturally the final recommendations went against the men. That’s the way how laws are passed in other cases. So whether it’s defining sexual harassment or shaping criminal jurisprudence in laws pertaining to property rights, maintenance rights and etc. the final outcome is always against the interest of men. The mother of all questions is: Are advocates of men’s rights fully prepared to fight such a powerful faceless enemy? And that too amid horrible and hopeless situation. Anyway, this terrible question provides a great permanence to the significance of movements related with men’s rights!
In India, the road to success for men’s rights movement is filled with virtually insurmountable obstacles. That’s because a vast section of men lives in villages whose lives are closely connected with prejudices and age-old beliefs related with “aham ( ego), sampatti ( property) and aurat ( woman)”. Coming to urban population, the society is chiefly divided into a great middle class and rich elite class. The former is deeply involved in struggles, pertaining to bread and butter, while the latter is completely submerged in ills flowing excess money supply. This class structure should make it very clear to MRAs that they need not to be sloppy while conveying the importance of having a movement for the rights of men. A lack of seriousness on their part might make their sincere efforts go in vain. After all, this age belongs to crude values hinging around materialism! So when you are advocating about finer values of newer types, like having a commission for men, one needs to demonstrate a high degree of logical precision side-by-side real seriousness. A louts emerges from mud. The associations related with men should borrow the spirit of lotus. Let them bloom amid such hopeless scenario. Instead of being discouraged, let’s use the disadvantages in our favor. That alone would keep the significance and relevance of men’s movement evergreen in a right way!
During one of the conversations with close friend Carmen, who happens to be a gifted conversationalist, the idea of men wearing skirt came to haunt my imagination. She picked up the idea from some fashion show. Her casual reference to men in skirt made me remind of the famous phrase that there is “method in madness”. If anyone wishes to realize how madness has become a passion in our times, the present age is fittest time to witness the mad show. Just organize a fashion show and introduce horrible sense of dressing as a new passion among youths. No wonder men wearing skirts does not sound amusing. Anything is possible in our times. Overnight we can find “he” emerging as “she” the next day! Now I am wondering what else could follow if men start wearing skirts?
The purpose of fashion shows also defies my sensibilities. Often the trends shown in it are not meant for masses. The dresses exhibited in it are beyond the range of common people. Still we find an unending craze for such fashion shows. Remember the movie “Fashion”? That movie disclosed the harsh realities prevalent in world of fashion. Anyway, I am talking about the craziness existing in our real world, wherein the distinction between men and women is getting reduced with each passing moment, and even in the virtual world with help of Photoshop. The write-up is merely a humorous take on the whole issue.
Notice the fact that wearing “ear rings” by the boys is new craze. My friend endorsed usage of ear rings by boys since that make guys attain a look that attracts females. I feel that in every man there is female essence and in every woman there is some male element. Only today I saw a girl riding a motor bike meant for men. Few days back, I had seen an young girl having two girls pillioned behind her on a slender scooty! That makes it very clear that there is urge in both the sexes to give way to each other’s essence. Has anyone heard “Aake Seedhi Lagi Dil Pe” song from movie Half Ticket? Kishore Kumar has given voice to male and female characters on whom this song has been picturized!! Pran and Kishore Kumar have performed in mind-boggling way in this song. And that’s why this song always makes me smile! In many Indian movies dance sequences have male actors disguised as females. The same has been the case with female actresses as well.
Right now, I am wondering what would follow the skirt? I am sure male bras are next hot item. Please read this excerpt borrowed from news item:
“Japanese men are getting in touch with their feminine side thanks to a new trend in male lingerie.They are hitching up their man boobs (moobs), finding out their cup sizes, and getting into male bras. Akiko is the woman behind this underwear revolution. She started selling the bras online from her Tokyo shop – The Wishroom. She said: ‘I think more and more men are becoming interested in bras.’ “
Now if that’s the case I feel new perceptions would emerge. Now men, like women, would often be found complaining: I found her staring at my assets !!! New harassment laws would also be introduced for men that would take cognizance of men’s complaints, accusing the passers by of indecent gesture !!! I feel that such tactics are very cleverly promoted by market. That makes them sell their products. That’s the reason why “Mardo wali cream” (fairness cream for men) has come in existence and actors like Shah Rukh Khan, having dark complexioned wives, are promoting it. They are making us develop guilt complexes to promote the sale of fairness cream for men!!! Anyway, for me black is beautiful.
I request the likes of Carmen not to create chaos in society by feeling excited about idea of seeing men in skirts. I love women with long hairs. I am sure not many would love to see a woman proclaiming bald is beautiful! Please be traditional, at least, in some matters. Women in long hairs are epitome of sensuality. Unfortunately, it’s age of short cuts. No wonder women love anything from short hairs to short skirts.
I am neither misogynist nor anti-feminist, and not even a Men’s Rights Activist (MRA). Many of my friends working for these organisations feel I should be one like them in a formal way, but being on a different route, I prefer not to identify with any organization, be they ones from spiritual or political background. So it would be useless to measure the worth of author’s views as someone acting as mouthpiece of any organization. Let’s not forget that to come up with entirely different set of facts, a different version of reality not in tune with set patterns, is not bizarre. On the contrary, it’s the result of having viewed the world from close angles! An open mind would certainly realize it. To follow a different route does not make anyone regressive, biased, much less a Talibani with a capacity to issue a fatwa! Ridiculous assertion!
Why should every analyst of our times present a syrupy version of happenings taking place in world of present times women, wherein “every bad thing any man has ever committed highlighted and exaggerated; every bit of good systematically undermined, vilified or ignored”? It’s only that I feel inclined to represent the cause of men, not out sense of any “same gender” feeling but only from justice point of view, which demands that other side should also be heard well. It’s the other side of the fence that I am presenting with total sincerity, different perspective and neutral stance !
कुछ नहीं दिखता था अंधेरे में मगर, आंखें तो थीं,
ये कैसी रोशनी आई कि सब अंधे हो गए।।
(Though we cannot see in dark with our eyes,
It’s strange that we cannot see even as there is light around us)….
Feminism, as a movement, was started in late nineteenth century to demand female rights in society. “At the end of the nineteenth century was that women began to realize that it is unfair for them to be constantly under the power of men simply because the social system has traditionally favored males.” At this point, it’s inappropriate to discuss the impact of this movement in West, but this movement seems to have lost its impact there in modern times. May be because women have gained enough rights there but, in my eyes, it’s because both have realized well that battle of the sexes serves no purpose other than breeding animosity. “To know the road ahead, ask those coming back”.
The Indian women, who have misplaced beliefs that having all the rights ensures better days should, at least, have the guts to critically analyze the impact of such divisive and lethal movement in Western societies. Anyway, it’s better that I confine myself to Indian landscape. It’s better to understand the essential elements of Indian society, viewing it not through the myopic terms coined by the so-called progressive elements, but in a conscious way to tear apart the great game of gender equality. It’s interesting that many arguments have been forwarded to show the worth of female mind. Many love to cite the growing academic excellence of Indian women as one of the parameters to upheld the intellectual superiority of women. However, wisdom and real understanding have nothing to do with academic excellence. Many of the great contributors, in fact, nearly all creative geniuses, were very poor in academic terms plus they were never part of institutionalized structures. I say that not to lessen the importance of academic excellence but to highlight the worth of education offered in Indian schools and universities, which are killing all the good elements which a child possesses.
The Indian society might have so-called patriarchal model but it’s a sheer diabolical myth that it was framed to suppress the position of women, much less, exploit the women. The Indian society has always been women-centered society. The concept like “”Ardhanareeswara”, aimed at equality of women, which ensured that Shiva without female principle “Shakti” means nothing, always made Indian women enjoy dignified position in Indian society. Even in modern Indian Hindu families, having a balanced and sensible approach, the women always gain upper hand in all issues. All important issues have her consent, wherein her views gain as much importance than any male member. Have a look at the marriage vows. They in clear terms ensure that women come to enjoy an equal ground.
Gribhnami te saubhagatvaya hastam mayapatya jardastirayathasah|
Bhagoaryyamma savita purandhiramahyam tvadurgaharpatya devah||
That is – “Oh dear! On this auspicious occasion of our life, I take your hand in mine in the presence of invoked deities. Oh blessed woman! You be with me as a fortunate partner for a very long time. I hand over the control of my family in your hands, discharge your duties joyously.”
It’s a fallacious assertion that men enjoyed privileges in past while the women remained an oppressed lot. “Society is largely constructed for the benefit of women and children and always has been, otherwise it doesn’t survive. …It takes a gigantic lack of imagination (usually the sole province of baby feminists) to believe that women wanted the economic and political involvement they claim now when the demands and risks of these endeavours were as they were then (ancient times)”. The Indian society is also no exception. It’s always portrayed as if women in the past were some sort of domestic slaves, devoid of any sort of right to decide by themselves. Well, such a claim can only be made by people who have not bothered to know Indian society in its entirety. Even the most ancient ladies in Indian history had the right to chose their husbands via a ceremony called Swyamvara. The women were well versed in scriptural knowledge and many among them were qualified scholars.
True, with advent of time many of the glorious traditions (the great spirit which led to their origin) faded away to give way to their corrupt versions. It would not be out of place to mention that practice like dowry was basically the Streedhan to ensure that a woman is “not left wanting anything after the wedding”. The impression of men being unconcerned about the rights of women is quite powerfully projected but lesser known aspect is that men have played an instrumental role in any movement aimed at improvement of women. The greatest example in this category is abolition of Sati Pratha and banning of child marriages. Anyway, the division in labour in Indian society was done by the sages, who played an impartial role while framing laws related with basic structure of Indian society. It favoured none.
Had Indian society been truly patriarchal in nature, as suggested by new age scholars, it would have never led to emergence of bold Indian women who always played equal role in Indian society. Be they queens of ancient era, or the women freedom fighters of pre-Independence era, the Indian women played a significant role. It would not have been possible had women been denied the right to make choices. The modern Indian society is facing new set of complexities but the solution is not devaluation of ancient practices. The empowerment of Indian women does not mean women be entitled to make arbitrary choices on the grounds that men also did the same! In fact, it presupposes that men enjoyed unlimited freedom of all sorts. It’s totally false and erroneous notion. Their choices were also determined by the prescribed rules, keeping in mind the interests of women and children. Let’s be clear that the empowerment of women does not mean to give way to propaganda that “women alone have sufferings and women alone have problems in life”.
At present, the situation has become pretty confusing and dangerous for the growth of Indian society. The men are being repeatedly portrayed as abusers, leading to anti-family and anti-marriage laws. Indeed, there are problems related with Indian women but then effective measures in form of stringent laws are already there to take note of them. There are many institutions to take care of plight of women, whose recommendations have led to new rules, fresh amendments and etc. in form of Domestic Violence Act, Dowry Act and Maintenance Act, to name a few. In Vishaka v. State of Rajasthan, the Supreme Court of India in 1997 laid down the guidelines to ensure that sexual harassment at the workplace does not take place, which resulted in framing of the “The Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Bill, 2012″. The problems pertaining to women are being systematically dealt with, and much of the problems have not arisen out of lack of concern for the cause of women in Indian society, but because of lack of effective implementation. So it’s really shrewd to suggest that patriarchal society favours men!
Let’s understand that in name of personal freedom and personal choices one cannot give way to lifestyle which ensures conflicts and dilemmas of disturbing nature. A choice has to be in league with prevalent norms and customs. Or else, women need to effectively satisfy that their choices would not lead to turbulent state of affairs. There is nothing like absolute freedom. She has to convince what would be the state of affairs in such a society, which allows women unrestricted freedom in name of personal choices? That’s because, if there comes no plausible explanation, and still we went in for such a society, it would be hard to wipe out the new set of complexities. That’s the case in other parts of the hemisphere. To see the resistance offered by men, or by the people belonging to old order of living patterns as an attempt to hold back the privileges enjoyed in the patriarchal set-up is not the right interpretation. It’s also not fear to lose the power or monopoly. On the contrary, it’s an attempt to prevent the citadels of society from crumbling down.
It’s simply not issue of having choices/making choices in free manner; it’s more about long term consequences of having choices, which indicate the high probability of single women, pills, abortions, extra-marital relations, same-sex relations, stress-related burdens, broken families, deviant kids and etc.? What about the dangerous interference in the evolutionary process, wherein for ages men played the role of protector and women the role of nurturing the kids? With this kind of perverted “role reversal”, are’t we on the wrong track? One of my friends, during gender related conversation, referring to Sunita Williams ( as if only after that Indian women learnt the art to make exceptional choices) stated that she did not have kids for the sake of work! It would be suffice to say that if all women made such a choice, it would not be hard to imagine the fate of evolution of human species! However, this is classic example of selective approach, wherein a woman seeks benefits of traditional society when she feels trapped by her weaknesses but she is absolutely modern when it comes to making choices and rights. That’s paradox at its best since.
After all, it involves taming of the men species to ensure that inequality gets reduced! That has begun in a cruel fashion. Men are now supposed to do something which is never their strength, and a retaliatory gesture on their part is enough to get them the tag of being an abuser and an oppressor! Who will bear the consequences of “placing men and women in a conflicting role and creating confusion in values”? But that’s still not as ominous as an attempt to create a society which denies even the right to protest on part of men. “Under cover of the notion of chivalry, as understood by Modern Feminism, Political and Sentimental Feminists alike would deprive men of the most elementary rights of self-defence against women and would exonerate the latter practically from all punishment for the most dastardly crimes against men. They know they can rely upon the support of the sentimental section of public opinion with some such parrot cry of: “Treat a woman in this way!”/ “What! Hit a woman!”.
It’s interesting that women learnt to move out of their houses, refusing to remain confined to prison like state of affairs within the home, and began to notice that world outside is a different affair altogether. It missed the “having all the pleasure factor” which they had assumed prevailed in men’s life as they began to venture outside. The world would remain a hell’s replica and it would not going to change whether women remains inside the home or moves outside, fulfilling their aspirations and dreams in fullest manner. However, having said that, let’s make the world safer and better for the women community. Nobody said that problems pertaining to women’s life, be they of any type, sexual assault, low wages, discrimination, should be ignored.
What I wish to suggest is that while dealing with women’s issues, the gender politics should not get mixed with the reforms. An attempt to distort the intimate relationship with men and women should not become the prime motive in guise of welfare. Sadly, that’s how one feels while analyzing the current state of affairs, wherein right from biological facts, psychological facts and legal truths, all are being selectively quoted, or quoted in perverted manner to suit the vested interests acting as agents of change in world of women.
That’s why all conscious souls, interested in right developments, should become alert when “there is no distinction between potential and probability. An allegation suffices for proof. Hearsay is taken for gospel.” (Charles E. Corry). Rohan, Men’s Rights activist, Bangalore, conveys the same sentiments in a different way: ” Women have the right to be seated when in a bus or in a train. They have the right to 50% reservation in govt. jobs and academics. They have the right to claim alimony and maintenance, even in a live-in relationship. They have only rights and men only have duties. This is called equality, according to feminazis.”
Precisely, it’s for the very same reason it has become need of the hour to present the happenings taking place in world of men in an aggressive and conscious manner. The happier side of the movements aimed to improve the life of women has been “demolition of the idea that women are inherently nice”. The thing that’s now taking place is that discrimination and abuse stories related with women are being presented both in right and wrong way, with help of paid media. Facts, right and wrong, are flowing thick and past to show that how women have been underprivileged and suppressed lot. No one is bothered to check either the authenticity of facts nor the source, forget about probing them from wide angles.
Anyway, since all this is happening in the name of ensuring a better world for women, I am but compelled to endorse them. But with a condition and appeal: Let’s also reveal the true picture of the sufferings, pains, humiliation, torture faced by men side-by-side the stories which talk about sufferings of women, with the same honesty and intensity! That alone will bring the true story, true picture. At present, we are witnessing with abuse stories related with women only. That’s unfair to hear/see only one side in any story and jump to flawed conclusions applicable to totality.
Why such a wish irks those concerned with rights of women? Will society be a better place only if you enable the women to have all the rights? Why shouldn’t the rights of men be discussed in the same breath? Why should not adequate attention be paid to silent sufferings of men? It leaves me aghast that tragedies, stories of discrimination associated with men, their precarious state of affairs being involved in hazardous and tough activities and regular interaction with dilemmas and ironies of peculiar type are being talked about in matter-of-fact tones. Worse, any attempt to bring the truth get checkmated by giving the impression that since men are about to lose the power, lose the privileges, these are reactionary backlash. That’s an absurd and fleeting observation. The right interpretation is that men have now begun to get organized to make “gender equality” attain a right shape, a right balance, a right proportion. And this would never stop.
P.S.: Many thanks to my friend, Rohan, whose views I have borrowed from the conversation we had on Instablogs on one of my posts having the same theme. He is Men’s Rights Activist hailing from Bangalore.
Society Always Tilted Towards Women
The women community seeking “equality of gender”, should either accept this concept in entirety, or else, follow desirable norms. The point is why so much insistence on rights for behaving as you want, for doing whatever you want? Why not give way to responsibilities shared, supposedly always considered as role of men since time immemorial! That includes all menial jobs requiring intense labour in tough conditions. That also means serving the men community, inside homes, for ages. The men community did that for ages, supplying money like ATM machine, despite suffering severely at hands of cruel wives. That too silently! These employed, high salaried women, should also marry unemployed youths and offer them all comforts for many centuries without feeling the pinch just the way men community did that in past! I am just trying to convey that this drama of gender equality gained momentum in wake of the world becoming a sophisticated place to live, largely shaped by men and women in the same patriarchal mode, which the bunch of derailed feminists saw as an obstacle for the emancipation of woman.
I am not interested in narrating the consequences of feminism in other parts of the world, but in Indian context, it has given rise to new set of complexities. There was already healthy division of labour but with the rise of feminism, or call it curse of modernism, the world inside home got projected as insult to the capabilities of women. The traditional roles were projected as subservient. However, as the modern women, shattering so-called shackles, stepped out of the confines of home, they realized that world is not bed of roses, or on par with their expectations, largely because of limitations caused by their physicality. So another set of calculated efforts came into action, to make the outside world seem a safer domain. And for that very reason, males were advised to co-operate inside homes, doing household work, after all, that’s what true equality demands! That also meant loving “fathers, brothers, sons” all be presented as “potential rapists” so that a false alarm can be raised, and thus, International bodies can come to dictate us, calling it a nation, which does not respects and honours women! The problems pertaining to women were highlighted in exaggerated way so as to ensure that hocus-pocus, called feminism, can make its presence felt in India.
It’s not that the problems related to woman community do not exist but a shrewd attempt to use them to create rift between the relationship, using the same bothering issues, is simply an attempt to hit hard at the cherished institutions called family and marriage. One never said that problems related with women be it female foeticide, rising sexual crimes, health concerns, low literacy level and etc. should never be dealt with in a conscious way. However, why should one not be alarmed when these very issues became a part of the plot to destabilize Indian society? It’s amazing that lesbians, drunk female girls, prostitutes not by condition but by choice, females involved in all sorts of complex relationship should be hailed as appropriate but the same women living inside the confines of home as an ideal wife is seen as insult to womanhood! I mean what sort of values are being professed in name of equality? What’s being achieved? It leaves one in deep pain that even the most heinous crimes “rapes” are also being used as tool to ensure that gender imbalance sharpens in name of equality.
This sort of heightened false consciousness in Indian women is a necessity because the governments in future would largely be shaped by minorities and women, and so it’s necessary to appease them, to keep them ignorant about real implications of chasing imported theories related with equality. At global level, this sort of destabilized society, wherein men and women, are living highly individualistic lives, caters well to the needs of consumerist society. So why would corporate demons make women aware of consequences of aping such wayward lifestyle, which is resulting in single women, divorced couples, broken homes, fatherless children, eventually leading to rise in crime level too? It’s safer for them that women come out of their homes, work for them, leading to greater productivity.
On the other hand, political class is all prepared to use them as a tool to make their political dreams come alive with their help. Only to attain such diabolical interests, the concept called feminism-the great game of gender equality-came in effect. It’s a myth that it got introduced to make their lives better. At least, in India, it’s not the case. Indeed, women have a set of their own problems, but to remove them, was it necessary to fall in the trap of complex notions of feminism, having goals which even Western world has failed to exhibit in totality or demonstrate with perfection? However, the problem starts when New Delhi starts living the pattern of life found in New York and Washington. That’s why borrowed concepts become a necessity. That’s why “equality” also becomes a necessity. That’s why a highly reputed media publication is bound to see “Sunny Leone” as woman of exceptional talent and merit. And that’s why it’s necessary to give rise to conflicts wherein woman is equal when it comes to enjoy benefits of modern society but woman feels no longer equal when threat is directly to her body. At that point, she is woman! Be equal to enjoy benefit, but be a woman in helpless positions!
Bringing qualitative differences in lives of woman is quite a different issue than using these very issues to demonize men, or, in fact, use the same issues to shatter the citadels of society. The positive side of this gender equality is that it has allowed men to reshape their own priorities. It has given them a huge chance to realize their own worth and get united to fight for the cause of men in a spirited way-something never done until now. This gender equality is a great phenomenon. At least, now everything related with woman shall be put on trial and it’s a great chance to shatter all stereotyped notions with them. They are no holy cows, and they are as shrewd and manipulative as men needs to be ably projected. It’s a myth that they are a weaker sex and that they were the harassed lot in past. They have always enjoyed deep respect, care, both in external world and within the four walls of home. However, it’s ironical, and diabolical too, that instead of highlighting this aspect, all the men got clubbed in one category of abusers of women. So it’s time to tell that who actually has been abusing-man or woman? The men community should discuss their own issues in a more organized way-their concerns, their dilemmas, their worries, their pain and their sufferings etc. should get highlighted in a better way. It’s for them to decide that they have to live like a male or as a female in a male body. That’s the real agenda of feminism- to curb the instincts of men to make them in tune with absurd concerns of women.
Lastly, there is nothing like gender equality. There are honorable differences and these differences should persist for the growth of society in a better way. Radha, Seeta, Draupadi, Savitri and other such great women were the by-product of same patriarchal society. Even in modern times, the same society has produced women for whom their fathers have been the role model. Let’s not topple such a society or else the future will be more darker than one would have imagined. Agreed that women have suffered discrimination and face problems. But are the lives of men devoid of problems? Aren’t they facing host of complex problems? Some times back in Kargil War, the Indian soldiers were killed in barbaric manner. Their genitals were cut. That was simply treated as war crime. The same done with woman would not have not only been treated as a war crime but also as sexual assault, rape. Now there lies the difference. That’s the paradox. One wishing true gender equality should treat both bodies as mere bodies! If that’s not possible then stop this nonsense about gender equality. At present, there is a difference and no difference in the name of equality. Difference when you can’t face the heat and no difference in sophisticated scenario. That’s not equality. That’s opportunism. That’s selfishness. That’s shrewdness of highest type.
Pic Two Internet
सच बोलने या सही बोलने वाले को दुनिया ने हमेशा तमाम तरीके की बौड़म उपाधियाँ दी है। सो लेबल की परवाह मुझे नहीं है। उस अवस्था से ऊपर उठ गया हूँ जहाँ लोगो को दुनियाई तमगो की चिंता होती है। कुछ तीव्रता से महसूस करना और फिर भी खामोश रह जाना एक प्रकार का बौद्धिक जुर्म है, बौद्धिक धोखा है। कम से कम ये मेरा तरीका नहीं है। स्त्रियों का मै सम्मान करता हूँ मगर इसका ये मतलब नहीं है कि उनके आचरण से जुड़े गलत तौर तरीको पर आपत्ति न उठाऊं। हर संवेदनशील व्यक्ति को समय रहते स्त्रियों को उनके आपत्तिज़नक आचरण के लिए सचेत करते रहना चाहिये इस बात की परवाह किये बिना कि इसका उन्हें खामियाज़ा भुगतना पड़ सकता है। कम से कम ये बेहतर है इससें कि आप व्यर्थ के आंसू टपकायें कुछ गलत हो जाने के बाद उसी गलत आचरण की वजह से। ये अलग बात है कि हम कदम तभी उठाते है जब सार्थक कदम अपनी अहमियत खो चुके होते है। अब ना तो मुझे इनकी तरह आँसू बहाने का शौक है और ना ही मै इन निष्क्रिय आत्माओ के समूह से में अपने आपको जोड़ सकता हूँ जो व्यर्थ ही आँसू बहाने के शौक़ीन है फोकट में।इसलिए तीव्रता से विरोध करता हूँ उस अवस्था से ही जब समस्या अपने प्रारम्भिक चरण में होती है। कम से कम विरोध करना तो मेरे हाथ में ही है। अगर आप मेरा साथ देते है तो अच्छी बात है। नहीं तो मै अकेले ही अपना विरोध तीव्रता से दर्ज करता रहूँगा। जिनको जो उपाधि मुझे देना है वो स्वतंत्र है मुझे देने के लिए।
कभी कभी हमको चीजों को मानवीय दृष्टिकोण से भी समझना चाहिए, एक संवेदनशील दिमाग से भी देखना चाहिए। दिक्कत हमारे साथ ये है कि हम सब चीजों को ओवर इंटेलेक्चुअलआइज़ कर देते है। यही सबसे बड़ी समस्या है रेडिकल फेमिनिस्ट्स के साथ जो औरतो के अधिकारों के लिए लड़ रही है। अब औरतो के पास कुछ तथाकथित अपने पर्सनल अधिकार है पर जो चीज़ इस पर्सनल राइट्स के मिलने के बाद आयी कि पुरुषो के साथ परस्पर माधुर्य से जुड़े सम्बन्ध बनाने की काबिलियत का लोप हो गया। इसीलिए मुझे जो साधारण स्तर पर विचरणने वाले स्त्री पुरुष है वो ज्यादा जीवन का रस लेने वाले है बजाय दोहरी ज़िन्दगी, उलझाव भरी ज़िन्दगी जीने वाले ये अधिकारों की लडाई लड़ते स्त्री और पुरुष।
(अपने अभिन्न मित्र घनश्याम दास, मेडिकल प्रैक्टिसनर है, यूनाइटेड अरब अमीरात, जी से कहे हुए शब्द एक विचार विमर्श के दौरान सोशल नेटवर्किंग साईट पर)