Two Faces Of Masculinity From The Crude Real World Supposedly Belonging To Men In The Eyes Of Feminists!
This year in the month of September a senior police officer, belonging to IPS cadre, tried to commit suicide in Maharashtra. Such news report now do not stir the emotions of common mass other than creating short-lived ripples within some sensitive minds. Even when it forces the thinking class to take cognizance of such news items, the centre of gravity in these discussions remain governed by flimsy causes and after a certain period the issue gets swept under the carpet.
In this particular sensational incident, this senior police officer was at the receiving end of humiliating gestures at the hands of another junior officer, belonging to IAS cadre. This harassment continued for a certain period of time and seeing no way to get out of this mess this hard-working and honest police official set himself on fire. The reason why this police officer faced the ire of this junior IAS officer was that he had found this junior officer responsible for alleged irregularities in the Maharashtra State Road Transport Corporation (MSRTC). This IPS officer in his capacity as the Chief Vigilance Officer of the MSRTC submitted an inquiry report, which found this officer guilty, who was, ironically, the head of this department at that point of time.
That’s one of the few examples from world of ours, which contradicts the claims of feminists always unfailingly harping on the same string that world belongs to men! Unfortunately, they never realize that it’s rough, cruel and hellish for men-at-large for most of the time. The wives of such hard-working honest officials, who see such husbands as no more than a source to have ready cash all the time for their sense gratification, either in form of buying costly jewelries, costly attires, rarely come to realize what’s actually the state of affairs in lives of the their husbands. Worse, being unaware of the harsh realities prevailing in the world of men, the women show no haste in throwing tantrums on one pretext or another.
Husbands usually do not protest over such whimsical demands of wives since in their eyes giving way to demands of their wives appears to be some sort of fulfilling one’s duty towards them! And that’s how women come to rule over them and in turn exploit them. Ironically, now laced with new rights, wives have become more possessive, greedy and irrational. It’s a sad declaration but it’s true that scenario would not change in future. It would remain the same, wherein husbands like, bonded labourers, would continue to serve their wives, even as they remained at the receiving end of most tragic developments in world outside the confines of drying room.
In one of the famous restaurants of Allahabad, popular among love birds, arrived one such couple. Everything went alright between these two lovers, enjoying a happy conversation amid refreshments. Suddenly, a call arrived on the phone of male friend and he went on to have a long conversation. Being suspicious about the nature of the phone call, the female partner inquired about it from her lover. The explanation offered by the male partner did not appear convincing to her and that led to heated debate between the two. The happy mood gave way to high voltage drama marred by panic and tension. The female partner, who belonged to elite class, being unaware of the consequences of involving police, telephoned the police station of that area stating she was being sexually assaulted. The police acted in prompt manner, beating his male partner black and blue, right in front of her eyes, dragged him to the police station.
The girl who did not imagine such fatal consequences and to an extent feeling sorry about the whole episode informed the police officer in the police station that her complaint was fake! She telephoned merely to teach a fitting lesson to his male partner! Perhaps she did not want that matter should reach to their homes, which was going to be the case in next few minutes. The police, taking a liberal view on the whole episode, released both of them warning them not to indulge in such drama again, which involved police. The couple promising them to behave responsibly left the police station with happy and relaxed faces. Such boyfriends, new face of masculinity in modern times would grow in numbers, willing to serve their girlfriends at all costs, no matter if it involves putting at stake one’s self-respect!
News Item Published In Dainik Jagaran
इसी साल सितम्बर महीने में महाराष्ट्र में एक सीनिअर पुलिस अफसर ने आत्महत्या करने की कोशिश की. ऐसी बाते हमारे भारतीय परिदृश्य में आम जनमानस के एक अल्पकालिक सनसनी के सिवाय ज्यादा कुछ पैदा नहीं करती। कुछ बतकही होती है इधर उधर की कुछ समय तक और फिर मामला ठंडा पड़ जाता है. लेकिन मै कुछ सोचने पर मजबूर हो गया. इस घटना के पीछे इस अधिकारी की प्रताड़ना थी जो ये एक अपने से जूनियर आई ए एस के हाथो कई वर्षो से झेल रहा था. वो भी इस वजह से कि इस अफसर ने ईमानदारी से काम करते हुए इस अधिकारी को एक इन्क्वायरी रिपोर्ट में कुछ मामलो में दोषी पाया था। और बात इस कदर बढ़ी कि इस अफसर ने अपने को आग के हवाले कर लिया।
इस घटना का उल्लेख करने की वजह ये है कि जिन ऐसी अफसरो की बीवियाँ गहनो और महँगी साड़ियों से सुसज्जित पति को प्राप्त हर सुख सुविधा का भोग करती है उनको शायद इस बात का जरा सा भी अंदेशा नहीं रहता कि उनके पति किस तरह के समस्यायों से जूझ रहे है. उस पर से तुर्रा ये कि किसी चीज़ की कमी बेसी पर आसमान सर पर उठा लेने में जरा भी देर नहीं लगाती है. और ये घर घर की कहानी है. इस घर और ऑफिस के दो पाटो में हर मर्द पिस जाता है लेकिन अपने शोषण पर उफ़ नहीं करता क्योकि ये उसको अपना कर्त्वय लगता है. और जबकि इनकी पत्नियाँ हर तरह के अधिकारो से लैस इस तरह के मर्दो को कोल्हू का बैल बना के रखती है. और जिस तरह से इनको अधिकार मिलते ही जा रहे है उससे नहीं लगता कि आने वाले समय में परिदृश्य बदलेगा।
इलाहाबाद का एक प्रसिद्ध रेस्टॉरंट जहा हमेशा की तरह आधुनिक प्यार को विस्तार देते कई प्रेमी प्रेमिकाएँ बैठे है. इन्ही तमाम जोड़ो में से एक के बीच ऐसा हुआ. एक प्रेमी प्रेमिका बैठे हुए है कि अचानक प्रेमी का मोबाइल बज उठता है जिस पर वो किसी से लम्बी बात करता है तो प्रेमिका ने डिटेल्स लेनी चाहिए लेकिन प्रेमी के जवाब से संतुष्ट ना हुई. और जो इन दोनों के बीच मधुर बातो का सिलसिला चल रहा था वो तकरार के भयंकर रूप में परिवर्तित हो गया. बात यहाँ तक बढ़ी कि प्रेमिका ने तुरंत पुलिस को फ़ोन पर सूचित किया कि उसके साथ छेड़ छाड़ हो रही है. ऐसे मामलो में अति सक्रिय पुलिस तुरंत आ पहुँची और उसके बॉयफ्रैन्ड को तुरंत मारते पीटते थाने ले गए. प्रेमिका चूँकि एलिट क्लास से थी सो उसको अंदाजा ना था कि फ़ोन करने पर ऐसा भी हो सकता है. बात क्योकि अब थाने और घरवालो तक पहुचने वाली थी सो प्रेमिका ने मामले को खत्म करने के इरादे से सच बता दिया कि ऐसा कुछ नहीं था. वो केवल बॉयफ्रेन्ड को सबक सीखना चाहती थी. सो पुलिस ने हलकी से दोनों को चेतावनी देते हुए दोनों को छोड़ दिया। दोनों भविष्य में ऐसा ना करने की कसम खाते हुए फिर से इकट्ठा साथ निकल लिए. मर्दानगी के आधुनिक नमूने इस तरह के बॉयफ्रेंड की फसलें सदा लहलहाती रहेंगी जिसे इस तरह की लड़किया हमेशा अपने हिसाब से काटती रहेगी।
News Item Published In Dainik Jagaran.
I have noticed few very discouraging trend patterns in our times. Firstly, the moment we notice rise of some good human being in any arena, one dares not to appreciate and honour that person. On the contrary, many negative forces come into operation to tarnish his/ her image. It appears being bad is honourable and glorious in our times! The same society raises hue and cry that we don’t have right people to deal with pertinent issues. But the moment someone makes a valiant attempt to change the corrupt scenario all types of negative forces gather on one platform to paint that individual in wrong colours. This tendency is not only baffling but also discouraging for development of better prospects.
Secondly, the great attempt is made to make such daring individual realize that you are no different than us: corrupt and rotten from inside. That way a greater lot in the society feels that it did a fine job by coercing that individual to have such great realization! If we look back into past we realize that good souls never got true recognition in their lifetime. It’s only after their death, they got elevated to sainthood sort of status. Instead of paving the path of such conscious individual with glorious possibilities, the path gets filled with chosen obstacles. Amazingly, this all happens in a society which always complains about lack of positive changes in society. Meet young or old, man or woman, all will complain about disorder and lawlessness in the society. However, the same lot is not interested in promoting right developments the right way.
That’s the reason I hate taming of good people. Taming is crime in my eyes, and so I am not at all fascinated by taming business. Why should those man/woman be tamed who dare to think differently, who dare to introduce new ways of thinking in a society? Why should these exceptional souls be made on par with same level of distorted thinking which dominates the common masses? However, we do expect values like sincerity, real love, honesty and etc. from each other. I will surely allow my friends a desired freedom but shall not tolerate that they make mockery of it by indulging in atrocious and absurd behaviour. Liberty should not be mistaken as license to behave in contemptuous way. Sadly, for a modern man/woman freedom/liberty means mental corruptness and unaccountability. Anyway, I hope that modern society learns to honour exceptional souls instead of entering in regressive attitude to tame such souls so as to reduce their impact! A society interested in better changes should have something better to offer such agents of change instead of subjecting them to coercive attempts to make them feel ordinary.
( The article first appeared in The Speaking Tree Column, Jammu Plus, The Times Of India)
The world is not the right place for people endorsing out-of the-box thoughts. The world recognizes only stereotyped emotions. It’s not a pessimistic assertion but it’s a result of head on encounter with realism. It’s the essence which keeps natural earthly phenomenon in organized state. It’s the way which has happened in the past. Socrates told truth, and was offered poison! Galileo’s ideas which supported heliocentric world system were considered violation of Catholic Church teachings that the Earth was the center of the universe. That ensured a house arrest for Galileo for rest part of his life. India has also seen episodes wherein the exceptional souls faced the same disastrous consequences.
Meera challenged the monarchy by loving Krishna. She was put on trial by the near and dear ones. The ever-present God’s hand came to her rescue. Prahlad refused to gave way to his father’s belief that he was Supreme, and instead placed his faith in the Vishnu’s mystical power. That brought him against the powerful administration run by his father but as we all know Lord’s Vishnu incarnation as Narasimha came to establish as to who exactly controlled the universe.
It would not be wrong to suggest that “the way of this world is, to praise dead saints, and persecute living ones.” The moment one tries to rope in better ideas, a rush of mass of negativism tries to annihilate it. There may be some fortunate souls whom lady luck allowed to have fertile ground for execution of their dreams but for a greater lot the story has been to move from one conventional norm to another. For average souls, the world is okay. For them it had been an easy task to imbibe all contradictions and evils in name of “practical adjustment” but that’s not the case with people having heightened sensitiveness. Their own ethics prevents them from picking up anything and treating as its own. The so-called practical souls since they stand for nothing other than having deep faith in loose irrational principles are often hailed as pragmatist. “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” So they emerge as successful. They are the champions of pragmatism. They are the ones who are the real heroes for people trapped in livelihood struggles.
However, life is deadly ash. That’s why Lord Shiva’s whole body is smeared with deadly ash. Once you have a real interaction, absolute deadly realization, the ability to make fraudulent dealings gets wiped out totally. Your spirit refuses to participate in worldly affairs, not imbibing everything in name of changes of time. It becomes selective in conscious way. It’s like attaining the “Sthitpragya” state – the state of absolute equanimity attained as result of identification with highest consciousness in a perfect way. Lord Krishna has referred to it in Srimad Bhagvad Geeta:
Prajahati yada kaman sarvan partha mano-gatan
atmany evatmana tustah sthita-prajnas tadocyate
-Lord Krishna said, O Arjuna when gives up all desires for sense gratification produced within the mind and becoming satisfied by the realization of the self in the pure state of the soul; then it is said one is properly situated in perfect knowledge.
True, once that state is attained, the person with such a state of mind refuses to sway with happenings of the world. Nothing seems to change externally but the inner being of such a person undergoes revolutionary transformation. That might make him a failure from worldly materialistic evaluation but in kingdom of souls he is the king of souls like the God principle. He refuses to endorse the worldly orientations and instead walks all alone on path built of out-of-the-box thoughts.
Like always, the worldly temptations manifest for such a soul to distract him. No wonder, Swami Vivekananda treats the path of realization akin to walking on the razor’s edge. The seeker until realization dawns upon him should need to remain highly vigilant, maintaining high level of “viveka shakti”- the sense of making wise choices. In Bhagavad Geeta, Lord Krishna warns the seekers that they should not give way to superficial attainments by worshiping lesser Gods, and thus should not pay much attention to Vedic verses aimed at appeasing him.
Yavan artha udapane sarvatah samplutodake
tavan sarvesu vedesu brahmansya vijanatah (Chapt.2; Verse 46)
– All that is served in well of water is better served by a vast lake; similarly, all the purpose in all Vedic scriptures are realized to he who knows the ultimate truth.
So let’s learn to travel alone even as the route passes through worldly happenings, under the shadow of out-of-the-box thoughts with a conscious and alert mind.
हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम को संशोधित करने में कांग्रेस सरकार जो अति सक्रियता दिखा रही है वो परेशानी और अचम्भे में डालती है. इस सरकार का कार्यकाल एक साल के भीतर ही ख़त्म होने वाला है लिहाज़ा ये अति सक्रियता आत्मघाती है. सम्पति के बटवारे के बारे में इसकी टेढ़ी चाल भारतीय परिवारों के विघटन का कारण बन सकती है. प्रस्तावित क़ानून में बटवारे वाले सेक्शन को लेकर जो उहापोह वाली स्थिति उत्पन्न हो गयी है सरकार के भीतर उससे स्पष्ट है कि इस सरकार के मंत्री खुद भ्रम के स्थिति में है और इस कानून में निहित संपत्ति बंटवारे और मुआवजे से सम्बंधित बिन्दुओ पर वो एकमत रूख नहीं रखते है. हिंदू विवाह अधिनियम’ की धारा 13-बी और ‘विशेष विवाह अधिनियम’ की धारा 28 आपसी सहमति से तलाक के अंतर्गत संपत्ति बंटवारे/ मुआवज़े पर जो सरकार के भीतर अन्तर्विरोध उभर कर आये है उससे ये समझ में आता है कि इस कानून के मूल तत्वों के बारे में सरकार में शामिल मंत्रियो से लेकर अन्य पार्टी के सांसदों को ज्यादा कुछ नहीं पता है . इससे ये सहज ही समझा जा सकता है कि जनता जिसका वो प्रतिनिधित्व करते है उनमे कितना भ्रम व्याप्त होगा। फिर भी ये सरकार इस संशोधन को इतनी जल्दबाजी में कानूनी जामा पहनाना चाहती है ये हैरान करता है.
ये बताना आवश्यक रहेगा कि सरकार ने संशोधन को पास कराने की हड़बड़ी में लॉ कमिशन और संसदीय स्थायी समिति को पूरी प्रक्रिया से बाहर रखा है. इसके खतरनाक दुष्परिणाम होंगे और इस तरह के कानूनों से भारत के युवक-युवतियों का भविष्य अँधेरे के गर्त में जा सकता है. ये निश्चित है कि अगर ये बिल अपने प्रस्तावित स्वरूप में पास हो गया तो ये एक और उदाहरण होगा गैर जिम्मेदाराना तरीके से प्रक्रियागत खामियों से लैस कानून को अस्तित्व में लाने का। पुरुषो एक अधिकारों का प्रतिनिधित्व करने वाली अग्रणी संस्था सेव इंडिया फॅमिली फाउंडेशन (SIFF) ने इस हिंदी विवाह अधिनियम (संशोधन) बिल, २०१०, को अपने वर्तमान स्वरुप में पारित कराने की कोशिशो की तीखी आलोचना करते हुए इस खतरनाक संशोधन को पूरी तरीके से नकार दिया है.
सेव इंडिया फॅमिली फाउंडेशन (SIFF) का ये भी कहना है कि न्यायधीशो को इस कानून के तहत असीमित अधिकार देना किसी तरह से भी जायज नहीं है खासकर महिलाओ से संबधित प्रतिमाह गुज़ारा भत्ता /मुआवज़े के निर्धारण में.
क्या कहता है ये कानून:
विवाह अधिनियम (संशोधन) विधेयक 2010’ “असुधार्य विवाह भंग’ को हिंदू विवाह अधिनियम 1955 और विशेष विवाह अधिनियम 1954 के तहत तलाक मंजूर करने के एक आधार के रूप में स्वीकार करता है. इसके साथ ही तलाक के मामले में अदालत पति की पैतृक संपत्ति से महिला के लिए पर्याप्त मुआवजा तय कर सकती है. विधेयक में पति द्वारा अर्जित की गई संपत्ति में से पत्नी को हिस्सा देने का प्रावधान है.
कुछ आवश्यक बिंदु:
इस कानून को महिलाओ के पक्ष में बताना खतरनाक है क्योकि भारत में सत्तर प्रतिशत परिवार गरीब वर्ग में है जो ज्यादातर क़र्ज़ में डूबे है और जिनके पास संपत्ति नाम की कोई चीज़ नहीं है, जिनके ऊपर पहले से ही बेटी बेटो के भरण पोषण और उनके शादी ब्याह जैसी जिम्मेदारियां है. ये कानून केवल एक ख़ास वर्ग में सिमटी सम्पन्न महिलाओ को ध्यान में रखकर अस्तित्व में आया है लिहाज़ा मुख्य धारा के राजनैतिक दलों को इसके विरोध में खड़े होकर इसके खिलाफ वोटिंग करनी चाहिए। ऐसा इसलिए कि इस कानून के पारित होने के बाद तलाक के प्रतिशत में अगले दस सालो में लभग तीस प्रतिशत तक की बढ़ोत्तरी हो सकती है.
प्रस्तावित हिन्दू विवाह संशोधन को सम्पूर्णता में देखे जाने की जरूरत है जैसे कि संयुक्त रूप से बच्चो का पालकत्व या बच्चों की जिम्मेदारियों के वित्तीय वहन से सम्बंधित कानून की इसमें क्या भूमिका रहेगी. सिर्फ मासिक भत्ते के निर्धारण में सक्रियता दिखाना उचित नहीं। क्या पति ताउम्र भत्ता गुज़ारा देता रहेगा संपत्ति बंटवारे के बाद भी जिसका हिस्सा खुद की संपत्ति और विरासत में मिली संपत्ति से मिलकर बनता है? ये कुछ अति महत्त्वपूर्ण बिंदु है जिनको संज्ञान में लेना आवश्यक है और इन्हें उनके बीच चर्चा में शामिल करना है जो इन कानूनों से प्रभावित हो रहे है. अव्यवस्थित रूप से निर्धारित बिन्दुओ को कानून बना के पास करना बेहद गलत है.
सेव इंडिया फॅमिली फाउंडेशन (SIFF) का सरकार को निम्नलिखित सुझाव:
सरकार इस कानून को तुरंत वापस लें और मौजूदा संसदीय अधिवेशन में इसे ना पेश करे. सरकार इस कानून की भाषा में परिवतन करे और इस लिंग आधारित भेदों से ऊपर करे जिसमे पति (husband) और पत्नी (wife) को ” जीवनसाथी” ( spouse) और स्त्री (man) और पुरुष (woman) को ” व्यक्ति” (person) में परिवर्तित किया जाए. इसके साथ ही किसी भी जीवनसाथी को तलाक़ अर्जी का विरोध करने की छूट हो कानून की समानता के रौशनी में. सरकार इस बात का भी निर्धारण करे कि अर्जित संपत्ति के निर्माण में पत्नी का क्या सहयोग रहा है या पति के परिवार के भौतिक सम्पदा के विस्तार में क्या योगदान है. इसको निर्धारित करने का सूत्र विकसित किया जाए. इसके निर्धारण में शादी के अवधि को ध्यान में रखा जाए, बच्चो की संख्या का ध्यान रखा जाए, और क्या स्त्री कामकाजी है या घरेलु. अगर स्त्री तीन बच्चो की माता है, वृद्ध सदस्यों की देखरेख का जिम्मा ले रखा है, तो उसका योगदान अधिक है बजाय उस स्त्री के जो कामकाजी है और जिसके कोई बच्चे नहीं है एक साल की अवधि में.
इस सूत्र के मुताबिक ही किसी व्यवस्था को संचालित किया जाए जीवनसाथी को प्रतिमाह भत्ते के सन्दर्भ में, मुआवज़े के सन्दर्भ में या किसी और समझौते के सन्दर्भ में. न्यायधीश महोदय इस सूत्र की रौशनी में अपने विवेक का इस्तेमाल कर उचित फैसले लें. लिहाज़ा इस सूत्र के अंतर्गत अगर स्त्री के सहयोग का अनुपात पति या उसके परिवार के संपत्ति के अर्जन में पूरी संपत्ति के मूल्य से अधिक है तो उसे पूरी संपत्ति पर हक दिया जा सकता है. अगर पत्नी इसको लेने से इनकार कर सकती है तो वो मासिक गुज़ारे भत्ते वाले विकल्प को अपना सकती है. कहने का तात्पर्य ये है कि संपत्ति में हिस्सेदारी के बाद उसका मासिक गुज़ारे भत्ते को लेते रहने का अधिकार ख़त्म हो जाता है. दोनों विकल्पों का लाभ लेने का हक जीवनसाथी को नहीं मिलना चहिये.
सरकार को इस सूत्र को अस्तित्व में लाने के लिए एक कमेटी या योजना आयोग का गठन करना चाहिए.
सरकार को सयुंक्त भरण पोषण का अधिकार बच्चे के बायोलॉजिकल अभिभावक द्वारा और बच्चे के ग्रैंड पेरेंट्स से स्थायी संपर्क को अनिवार्य कर दिया जाए, जब तक कि कोर्ट इसके विपरीत राय ना रखती हो. इसके अनुपालन के अभाव को आपराधिक जुर्म के श्रेणी में रखा जाए। अगर कोई अभिभावक इस सयुंक्त के जिम्मेदारी से मुंह मोड़ रहा है या ग्रैंड पेरेंट्स से संपर्क में बाधा डाल रहा है तो इसको अपराध माना जाए.
सरकार ये सुनिश्चित करे कि न्यायालय को अपने विवेक के अधिकार का इस्तेमाल करने की सीमित आज़ादी हो संपत्ति बटवारे के निर्धारण में, मासिक गुज़ारे भत्ते के सन्दर्भ में और बच्चे के पालन पोषण सम्बन्धी मामलो में. बहुत ज्यादा अधिकार न्यायालय को देने का मतलब ये होगा कि कोर्ट का अवांछित हस्तक्षेप मामले को और जटिल बना देगा या कोर्ट का गैर जिम्मेदाराना रूख स्थिति को और विकृत कर देगा। अधिकतर पुरुष फॅमिली कोर्ट पे भरोसा नहीं करते, क्योकि इस तरह की कोर्ट पुरुषो के अधिकार के प्रति असंवेदनशील रही है. न्यायालय वर्षो लगा देती है पति को अपने बच्चो से मिलने का फैसला देने में और तब तक बच्चे की स्मृति पिता के सन्दर्भ में धूमिल पड़ जाती है.
सरकार ये सुनिश्चित करे कि महिला पैतृक संपत्ति और वहा अर्जित संपत्ति में जो हिस्सेदारी बनती हो उसे अधिग्रहित करे. उसे अपने कब्जे में लें. सरकार को हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करके महिला को अपने पिता के घर में रहने का स्थान सुनिश्चित करे , ताकि कम अवधि वाली शादी में अलगाव की सूरत में उसे रहने की जगह उपलब्ध हो. अगर माता पिता इस सूरत में उसे पति के घर जाने के लिये विवश करते है तो इसे अपराध की श्रेणी में रखा जाए. इसी प्रकार अगर महिला के माता पिता या महिला के भाई उसे पैतृक संपत्ति/ अर्जित संपत्ति में हिस्सा देने से इनकार करते है तो इसे असंज्ञेय प्रकार का अपराध माना जाए.
उन्होंने कहा कि अगर पति-पत्नी में से कोई भी एक व्यक्ति अगर संयुक्त आवेदन देने से इनकार करता है, तो दूसरे को आपसी सहमति के बजाय अन्य आधार पर तलाक के लिए आवेदन देने की अनुमति दी जानी चाहिए.
इस देश में कानून बना देने ही को सब समस्यायों का हल मान लिया गया है. और इस तरह के दिशाविहीन कानून जो प्रक्रियागत कमियों से लैस है उनका अस्तित्व में आना तो और भी खतरनाक है. वो इसलिए कि न्यायालय हमारे यहाँ किन दुराग्रहो से अधीन होकर काम करते है वो सब को पता है. एक तो सिस्टम गलत तरीके से काम करता है और दूसरा न्याय के रास्ते में इतने दुराग्रह मौजूद है कि सिर्फ लिखित कानून बना देने से सही न्याय मिल जाएगा ये सिर्फ एक विभ्रम है. इस तरह के पक्षपाती कानून सिर्फ भारतीय परिवार का विनाश ही करेंगे जैसा कि दहेज कानून के दुरुपयोग से हुआ है. सिर्फ मंशा का सही होना ही काफी नहीं बल्कि आप किस तरह से उनका सही अनुपालन करते है ये आवश्यक है. ये तो सब थानों में बड़े बड़े अक्षरों में लिखा रहता है कि गिरफ्तार व्यक्ति के क्या अधिकार है पर क्या थानेदार साहब इन सब बातो की परवाह करके कभी थाने में काम करते है? नहीं ना! यही वजह है कि इस तरह के अपूर्ण कानून न्याय का रास्ता नहीं वरन तबाही का मार्ग खोलते है. हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम में इस लापरवाही से संशोधन करके पहले से इन कानूनों से त्रस्त हिन्दू परिवारों पर एक और घातक प्रहार ना करे.
( प्रस्तुत लेख सेव इंडिया फॅमिली फाउंडेशन के नागपुर शाखा के अध्यक्ष श्री राजेश वखारिया से बातचीत पर आधारित है)
During one of the conversations with close friend Carmen, who happens to be a gifted conversationalist, the idea of men wearing skirt came to haunt my imagination. She picked up the idea from some fashion show. Her casual reference to men in skirt made me remind of the famous phrase that there is “method in madness”. If anyone wishes to realize how madness has become a passion in our times, the present age is fittest time to witness the mad show. Just organize a fashion show and introduce horrible sense of dressing as a new passion among youths. No wonder men wearing skirts does not sound amusing. Anything is possible in our times. Overnight we can find “he” emerging as “she” the next day! Now I am wondering what else could follow if men start wearing skirts?
The purpose of fashion shows also defies my sensibilities. Often the trends shown in it are not meant for masses. The dresses exhibited in it are beyond the range of common people. Still we find an unending craze for such fashion shows. Remember the movie “Fashion”? That movie disclosed the harsh realities prevalent in world of fashion. Anyway, I am talking about the craziness existing in our real world, wherein the distinction between men and women is getting reduced with each passing moment, and even in the virtual world with help of Photoshop. The write-up is merely a humorous take on the whole issue.
Notice the fact that wearing “ear rings” by the boys is new craze. My friend endorsed usage of ear rings by boys since that make guys attain a look that attracts females. I feel that in every man there is female essence and in every woman there is some male element. Only today I saw a girl riding a motor bike meant for men. Few days back, I had seen an young girl having two girls pillioned behind her on a slender scooty! That makes it very clear that there is urge in both the sexes to give way to each other’s essence. Has anyone heard “Aake Seedhi Lagi Dil Pe” song from movie Half Ticket? Kishore Kumar has given voice to male and female characters on whom this song has been picturized!! Pran and Kishore Kumar have performed in mind-boggling way in this song. And that’s why this song always makes me smile! In many Indian movies dance sequences have male actors disguised as females. The same has been the case with female actresses as well.
Right now, I am wondering what would follow the skirt? I am sure male bras are next hot item. Please read this excerpt borrowed from news item:
“Japanese men are getting in touch with their feminine side thanks to a new trend in male lingerie.They are hitching up their man boobs (moobs), finding out their cup sizes, and getting into male bras. Akiko is the woman behind this underwear revolution. She started selling the bras online from her Tokyo shop – The Wishroom. She said: ‘I think more and more men are becoming interested in bras.’ “
Now if that’s the case I feel new perceptions would emerge. Now men, like women, would often be found complaining: I found her staring at my assets !!! New harassment laws would also be introduced for men that would take cognizance of men’s complaints, accusing the passers by of indecent gesture !!! I feel that such tactics are very cleverly promoted by market. That makes them sell their products. That’s the reason why “Mardo wali cream” (fairness cream for men) has come in existence and actors like Shah Rukh Khan, having dark complexioned wives, are promoting it. They are making us develop guilt complexes to promote the sale of fairness cream for men!!! Anyway, for me black is beautiful.
I request the likes of Carmen not to create chaos in society by feeling excited about idea of seeing men in skirts. I love women with long hairs. I am sure not many would love to see a woman proclaiming bald is beautiful! Please be traditional, at least, in some matters. Women in long hairs are epitome of sensuality. Unfortunately, it’s age of short cuts. No wonder women love anything from short hairs to short skirts.
I am neither misogynist nor anti-feminist, and not even a Men’s Rights Activist (MRA). Many of my friends working for these organisations feel I should be one like them in a formal way, but being on a different route, I prefer not to identify with any organization, be they ones from spiritual or political background. So it would be useless to measure the worth of author’s views as someone acting as mouthpiece of any organization. Let’s not forget that to come up with entirely different set of facts, a different version of reality not in tune with set patterns, is not bizarre. On the contrary, it’s the result of having viewed the world from close angles! An open mind would certainly realize it. To follow a different route does not make anyone regressive, biased, much less a Talibani with a capacity to issue a fatwa! Ridiculous assertion!
Why should every analyst of our times present a syrupy version of happenings taking place in world of present times women, wherein “every bad thing any man has ever committed highlighted and exaggerated; every bit of good systematically undermined, vilified or ignored”? It’s only that I feel inclined to represent the cause of men, not out sense of any “same gender” feeling but only from justice point of view, which demands that other side should also be heard well. It’s the other side of the fence that I am presenting with total sincerity, different perspective and neutral stance !
कुछ नहीं दिखता था अंधेरे में मगर, आंखें तो थीं,
ये कैसी रोशनी आई कि सब अंधे हो गए।।
(Though we cannot see in dark with our eyes,
It’s strange that we cannot see even as there is light around us)….
Feminism, as a movement, was started in late nineteenth century to demand female rights in society. “At the end of the nineteenth century was that women began to realize that it is unfair for them to be constantly under the power of men simply because the social system has traditionally favored males.” At this point, it’s inappropriate to discuss the impact of this movement in West, but this movement seems to have lost its impact there in modern times. May be because women have gained enough rights there but, in my eyes, it’s because both have realized well that battle of the sexes serves no purpose other than breeding animosity. “To know the road ahead, ask those coming back”.
The Indian women, who have misplaced beliefs that having all the rights ensures better days should, at least, have the guts to critically analyze the impact of such divisive and lethal movement in Western societies. Anyway, it’s better that I confine myself to Indian landscape. It’s better to understand the essential elements of Indian society, viewing it not through the myopic terms coined by the so-called progressive elements, but in a conscious way to tear apart the great game of gender equality. It’s interesting that many arguments have been forwarded to show the worth of female mind. Many love to cite the growing academic excellence of Indian women as one of the parameters to upheld the intellectual superiority of women. However, wisdom and real understanding have nothing to do with academic excellence. Many of the great contributors, in fact, nearly all creative geniuses, were very poor in academic terms plus they were never part of institutionalized structures. I say that not to lessen the importance of academic excellence but to highlight the worth of education offered in Indian schools and universities, which are killing all the good elements which a child possesses.
The Indian society might have so-called patriarchal model but it’s a sheer diabolical myth that it was framed to suppress the position of women, much less, exploit the women. The Indian society has always been women-centered society. The concept like “”Ardhanareeswara”, aimed at equality of women, which ensured that Shiva without female principle “Shakti” means nothing, always made Indian women enjoy dignified position in Indian society. Even in modern Indian Hindu families, having a balanced and sensible approach, the women always gain upper hand in all issues. All important issues have her consent, wherein her views gain as much importance than any male member. Have a look at the marriage vows. They in clear terms ensure that women come to enjoy an equal ground.
Gribhnami te saubhagatvaya hastam mayapatya jardastirayathasah|
Bhagoaryyamma savita purandhiramahyam tvadurgaharpatya devah||
That is – “Oh dear! On this auspicious occasion of our life, I take your hand in mine in the presence of invoked deities. Oh blessed woman! You be with me as a fortunate partner for a very long time. I hand over the control of my family in your hands, discharge your duties joyously.”
It’s a fallacious assertion that men enjoyed privileges in past while the women remained an oppressed lot. “Society is largely constructed for the benefit of women and children and always has been, otherwise it doesn’t survive. …It takes a gigantic lack of imagination (usually the sole province of baby feminists) to believe that women wanted the economic and political involvement they claim now when the demands and risks of these endeavours were as they were then (ancient times)”. The Indian society is also no exception. It’s always portrayed as if women in the past were some sort of domestic slaves, devoid of any sort of right to decide by themselves. Well, such a claim can only be made by people who have not bothered to know Indian society in its entirety. Even the most ancient ladies in Indian history had the right to chose their husbands via a ceremony called Swyamvara. The women were well versed in scriptural knowledge and many among them were qualified scholars.
True, with advent of time many of the glorious traditions (the great spirit which led to their origin) faded away to give way to their corrupt versions. It would not be out of place to mention that practice like dowry was basically the Streedhan to ensure that a woman is “not left wanting anything after the wedding”. The impression of men being unconcerned about the rights of women is quite powerfully projected but lesser known aspect is that men have played an instrumental role in any movement aimed at improvement of women. The greatest example in this category is abolition of Sati Pratha and banning of child marriages. Anyway, the division in labour in Indian society was done by the sages, who played an impartial role while framing laws related with basic structure of Indian society. It favoured none.
Had Indian society been truly patriarchal in nature, as suggested by new age scholars, it would have never led to emergence of bold Indian women who always played equal role in Indian society. Be they queens of ancient era, or the women freedom fighters of pre-Independence era, the Indian women played a significant role. It would not have been possible had women been denied the right to make choices. The modern Indian society is facing new set of complexities but the solution is not devaluation of ancient practices. The empowerment of Indian women does not mean women be entitled to make arbitrary choices on the grounds that men also did the same! In fact, it presupposes that men enjoyed unlimited freedom of all sorts. It’s totally false and erroneous notion. Their choices were also determined by the prescribed rules, keeping in mind the interests of women and children. Let’s be clear that the empowerment of women does not mean to give way to propaganda that “women alone have sufferings and women alone have problems in life”.
At present, the situation has become pretty confusing and dangerous for the growth of Indian society. The men are being repeatedly portrayed as abusers, leading to anti-family and anti-marriage laws. Indeed, there are problems related with Indian women but then effective measures in form of stringent laws are already there to take note of them. There are many institutions to take care of plight of women, whose recommendations have led to new rules, fresh amendments and etc. in form of Domestic Violence Act, Dowry Act and Maintenance Act, to name a few. In Vishaka v. State of Rajasthan, the Supreme Court of India in 1997 laid down the guidelines to ensure that sexual harassment at the workplace does not take place, which resulted in framing of the “The Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Bill, 2012”. The problems pertaining to women are being systematically dealt with, and much of the problems have not arisen out of lack of concern for the cause of women in Indian society, but because of lack of effective implementation. So it’s really shrewd to suggest that patriarchal society favours men!
Let’s understand that in name of personal freedom and personal choices one cannot give way to lifestyle which ensures conflicts and dilemmas of disturbing nature. A choice has to be in league with prevalent norms and customs. Or else, women need to effectively satisfy that their choices would not lead to turbulent state of affairs. There is nothing like absolute freedom. She has to convince what would be the state of affairs in such a society, which allows women unrestricted freedom in name of personal choices? That’s because, if there comes no plausible explanation, and still we went in for such a society, it would be hard to wipe out the new set of complexities. That’s the case in other parts of the hemisphere. To see the resistance offered by men, or by the people belonging to old order of living patterns as an attempt to hold back the privileges enjoyed in the patriarchal set-up is not the right interpretation. It’s also not fear to lose the power or monopoly. On the contrary, it’s an attempt to prevent the citadels of society from crumbling down.
It’s simply not issue of having choices/making choices in free manner; it’s more about long term consequences of having choices, which indicate the high probability of single women, pills, abortions, extra-marital relations, same-sex relations, stress-related burdens, broken families, deviant kids and etc.? What about the dangerous interference in the evolutionary process, wherein for ages men played the role of protector and women the role of nurturing the kids? With this kind of perverted “role reversal”, are’t we on the wrong track? One of my friends, during gender related conversation, referring to Sunita Williams ( as if only after that Indian women learnt the art to make exceptional choices) stated that she did not have kids for the sake of work! It would be suffice to say that if all women made such a choice, it would not be hard to imagine the fate of evolution of human species! However, this is classic example of selective approach, wherein a woman seeks benefits of traditional society when she feels trapped by her weaknesses but she is absolutely modern when it comes to making choices and rights. That’s paradox at its best since.
After all, it involves taming of the men species to ensure that inequality gets reduced! That has begun in a cruel fashion. Men are now supposed to do something which is never their strength, and a retaliatory gesture on their part is enough to get them the tag of being an abuser and an oppressor! Who will bear the consequences of “placing men and women in a conflicting role and creating confusion in values”? But that’s still not as ominous as an attempt to create a society which denies even the right to protest on part of men. “Under cover of the notion of chivalry, as understood by Modern Feminism, Political and Sentimental Feminists alike would deprive men of the most elementary rights of self-defence against women and would exonerate the latter practically from all punishment for the most dastardly crimes against men. They know they can rely upon the support of the sentimental section of public opinion with some such parrot cry of: “Treat a woman in this way!”/ “What! Hit a woman!”.
It’s interesting that women learnt to move out of their houses, refusing to remain confined to prison like state of affairs within the home, and began to notice that world outside is a different affair altogether. It missed the “having all the pleasure factor” which they had assumed prevailed in men’s life as they began to venture outside. The world would remain a hell’s replica and it would not going to change whether women remains inside the home or moves outside, fulfilling their aspirations and dreams in fullest manner. However, having said that, let’s make the world safer and better for the women community. Nobody said that problems pertaining to women’s life, be they of any type, sexual assault, low wages, discrimination, should be ignored.
What I wish to suggest is that while dealing with women’s issues, the gender politics should not get mixed with the reforms. An attempt to distort the intimate relationship with men and women should not become the prime motive in guise of welfare. Sadly, that’s how one feels while analyzing the current state of affairs, wherein right from biological facts, psychological facts and legal truths, all are being selectively quoted, or quoted in perverted manner to suit the vested interests acting as agents of change in world of women.
That’s why all conscious souls, interested in right developments, should become alert when “there is no distinction between potential and probability. An allegation suffices for proof. Hearsay is taken for gospel.” (Charles E. Corry). Rohan, Men’s Rights activist, Bangalore, conveys the same sentiments in a different way: ” Women have the right to be seated when in a bus or in a train. They have the right to 50% reservation in govt. jobs and academics. They have the right to claim alimony and maintenance, even in a live-in relationship. They have only rights and men only have duties. This is called equality, according to feminazis.”
Precisely, it’s for the very same reason it has become need of the hour to present the happenings taking place in world of men in an aggressive and conscious manner. The happier side of the movements aimed to improve the life of women has been “demolition of the idea that women are inherently nice”. The thing that’s now taking place is that discrimination and abuse stories related with women are being presented both in right and wrong way, with help of paid media. Facts, right and wrong, are flowing thick and past to show that how women have been underprivileged and suppressed lot. No one is bothered to check either the authenticity of facts nor the source, forget about probing them from wide angles.
Anyway, since all this is happening in the name of ensuring a better world for women, I am but compelled to endorse them. But with a condition and appeal: Let’s also reveal the true picture of the sufferings, pains, humiliation, torture faced by men side-by-side the stories which talk about sufferings of women, with the same honesty and intensity! That alone will bring the true story, true picture. At present, we are witnessing with abuse stories related with women only. That’s unfair to hear/see only one side in any story and jump to flawed conclusions applicable to totality.
Why such a wish irks those concerned with rights of women? Will society be a better place only if you enable the women to have all the rights? Why shouldn’t the rights of men be discussed in the same breath? Why should not adequate attention be paid to silent sufferings of men? It leaves me aghast that tragedies, stories of discrimination associated with men, their precarious state of affairs being involved in hazardous and tough activities and regular interaction with dilemmas and ironies of peculiar type are being talked about in matter-of-fact tones. Worse, any attempt to bring the truth get checkmated by giving the impression that since men are about to lose the power, lose the privileges, these are reactionary backlash. That’s an absurd and fleeting observation. The right interpretation is that men have now begun to get organized to make “gender equality” attain a right shape, a right balance, a right proportion. And this would never stop.
P.S.: Many thanks to my friend, Rohan, whose views I have borrowed from the conversation we had on Instablogs on one of my posts having the same theme. He is Men’s Rights Activist hailing from Bangalore.
Society Always Tilted Towards Women