Tag Archives: Relationships


True Feminism Would Surely Make Such Men A Regular Sight!

True Feminism Would Surely Make Such Men A Regular Sight!

During one of the conversations with close friend Carmen, who happens to be a gifted conversationalist, the idea of men wearing skirt came to haunt my imagination. She picked up the idea from some fashion show. Her casual reference to men in skirt made me remind of the famous phrase that there is “method in madness”. If anyone wishes to realize how madness has become a passion in our times, the present age is fittest time to witness the mad show. Just organize a fashion show and introduce horrible sense of dressing as a new passion among youths. No wonder men wearing skirts does not sound amusing. Anything is possible in our times. Overnight we can find “he” emerging as “she” the next day!  Now I am wondering what else could follow if men start wearing skirts?

The purpose of fashion shows also defies my sensibilities. Often the trends shown in it are not meant for masses. The dresses exhibited in it are beyond the range of common people. Still we find an unending craze for such fashion shows. Remember the movie “Fashion”? That movie disclosed the harsh realities prevalent in world of fashion. Anyway, I am talking about the craziness existing in our real world, wherein the distinction between men and women is getting reduced with each passing moment, and even in the virtual world with help of Photoshop. The write-up is merely a humorous take on the whole issue.

Notice the fact that wearing “ear rings” by the boys is new craze. My friend endorsed usage of ear rings by boys since that make guys attain a look that attracts females. I feel that in every man there is female essence and in every woman there is some male element. Only today I saw a girl riding a motor bike meant for men.  Few days back, I had seen an young girl having two girls pillioned behind her on a slender scooty! That makes it very clear that there is urge in both the sexes to give way to each other’s essence. Has anyone heard “Aake Seedhi Lagi Dil Pe” song from movie Half Ticket?  Kishore Kumar has given voice to male and female characters on whom this song has been picturized!!  Pran and Kishore Kumar have performed in mind-boggling way in this song.  And that’s why this song always makes me smile! In many Indian movies dance sequences have male actors disguised as females. The same has been the case with female actresses as well.

Right now, I am wondering what would follow the skirt? I am sure male bras are next hot item. Please read this excerpt borrowed from news item:

“Japanese men are getting in touch with their feminine side thanks to a new trend in male lingerie.They are hitching up their man boobs (moobs), finding out their cup sizes, and getting into male bras. Akiko is the woman behind this underwear revolution. She started selling the bras online from her Tokyo shop – The Wishroom. She said: ‘I think more and more men are becoming interested in bras.’ “

Now if that’s the case I feel new perceptions would emerge. Now men, like women, would often be found complaining: I found her staring at my assets !!! New harassment laws would also be introduced for men that would take cognizance of men’s complaints, accusing the passers by of indecent gesture !!! I feel that such tactics are very cleverly promoted by market. That makes them sell their products. That’s the reason why “Mardo wali cream” (fairness cream for men) has come in existence and actors like Shah Rukh Khan, having dark complexioned wives, are promoting it. They are making us develop guilt complexes to promote the sale of fairness cream for men!!! Anyway, for me black is beautiful.

I request the likes of Carmen not to create chaos in society by feeling excited about idea of seeing men in skirts. I love women with long hairs. I am sure not many would love to see a woman proclaiming bald is beautiful! Please be traditional, at least, in some matters. Women in long hairs are epitome of sensuality. Unfortunately, it’s age of short cuts. No wonder women love anything from short hairs to short skirts.

It's Time For Girls To Shout, Sexy Legs :-)

It’s Time For Girls To Shout , Sexy Legs 🙂

Pics Credit:

Men In Skirts

Japanese Men

Tearing Apart The Politics Of Gender Disguised As Gender Equality!


Indian Men Always Had Nice  Time When They Left Their Homes!

Indian Men Always Had Nice Time When They Left Their Homes!

I am neither misogynist nor anti-feminist, and not even a Men’s Rights Activist (MRA). Many of my friends working for these organisations feel I should be one like them in a formal way, but being on a different route, I prefer not to identify with any organization, be they ones from spiritual or political background. So it would be useless to measure the worth of author’s views as someone acting as mouthpiece of any organization. Let’s not forget that to come up with entirely different set of facts, a different version of reality not in tune with set patterns, is not bizarre. On the contrary, it’s the result of  having viewed the world from close angles! An open mind would certainly realize it. To follow a different route does not make anyone regressive, biased, much less a Talibani with a capacity to issue a fatwa! Ridiculous assertion!

Why should every analyst of our times present a syrupy version of happenings taking place in world of present times women, wherein “every bad thing any man has ever committed highlighted and exaggerated; every bit of good systematically undermined, vilified or ignored”? It’s only that I feel inclined to represent the cause of men, not out sense of any “same gender” feeling but only from justice point of view, which demands that other side should also be heard well. It’s the other side of the fence that I am presenting with total sincerity, different perspective and neutral stance !

कुछ नहीं दिखता था अंधेरे में मगर, आंखें तो थीं,
ये कैसी रोशनी आई कि सब अंधे हो गए।।

(Though we cannot see in dark with our eyes,
It’s strange that we cannot see even as there is light around us)….

Feminism, as a movement, was started in late nineteenth century to demand female rights in society. “At the end of the nineteenth century was that women began to realize that it is unfair for them to be constantly under the power of men simply because the social system has traditionally  favored  males.”  At this point, it’s inappropriate to discuss the impact of this movement in West, but this movement seems to have lost its impact there in modern times. May be because women have gained enough rights there but, in my eyes, it’s because both have realized well that battle of the sexes serves no purpose other than  breeding animosity. “To know the road ahead, ask those coming back”.

The Indian women, who have misplaced beliefs that having all the rights ensures better days should, at least, have the guts to critically analyze the impact of such divisive and lethal movement in Western societies.  Anyway, it’s better that I confine myself to Indian landscape. It’s better to understand the essential elements of Indian society, viewing it not through the myopic terms coined by the so-called progressive elements, but in a conscious way to tear apart the great game of gender equality. It’s interesting that many arguments have been forwarded to show the worth of female mind. Many love to cite the growing academic excellence of Indian women as one of the parameters to upheld the intellectual superiority of women. However, wisdom and real understanding have nothing to do with academic excellence. Many of the great contributors, in fact, nearly all creative geniuses, were very poor in academic terms plus they were never part of institutionalized structures. I say that not to lessen the importance of academic excellence but to highlight the worth of education offered in Indian schools and universities, which are killing all the good elements which a child possesses.

The Indian society might have so-called patriarchal model but it’s a sheer diabolical myth that it was framed to suppress the position of women, much less, exploit the women. The Indian society has always been women-centered society. The concept like “”Ardhanareeswara”, aimed at equality of women, which ensured that Shiva  without  female principle “Shakti” means nothing, always made Indian women enjoy dignified position in Indian society. Even in modern Indian Hindu families, having a balanced and sensible approach, the women always gain upper hand in all issues. All important issues have her consent, wherein her views gain as much importance than any male member. Have a look at the marriage vows. They in clear terms ensure that women come to enjoy an equal ground.

Gribhnami te saubhagatvaya hastam mayapatya jardastirayathasah|
Bhagoaryyamma savita purandhiramahyam tvadurgaharpatya devah||

That is – “Oh dear! On this auspicious occasion of our life, I take your hand in mine in the presence of invoked deities. Oh blessed woman! You be with me as a fortunate partner for a very long time. I hand over the control of my family in your hands, discharge your duties joyously.”

It’s a fallacious assertion that men enjoyed privileges in past while the women remained an oppressed lot. “Society is largely constructed for the benefit of women and children and always has been, otherwise it doesn’t survive. …It takes a gigantic lack of imagination (usually the sole province of baby feminists) to believe that women wanted the economic and political involvement they claim now when the demands and risks of these endeavours were as they were then (ancient times)”. The Indian society is also no exception. It’s always portrayed as if women in the past were some sort of domestic slaves, devoid of any sort of right to decide by themselves. Well, such a claim can only be made by people who have not bothered to know Indian society in its entirety. Even the most ancient ladies in Indian history had the right to chose their husbands via a ceremony called Swyamvara. The women were well versed in scriptural knowledge and many among them were qualified scholars.

True, with advent of time many of the glorious traditions (the great spirit which led to their origin) faded away to give way to their corrupt versions. It would not be out of place to mention that practice like dowry was basically the Streedhan to ensure that a woman is “not left wanting anything after the wedding”. The impression of men being unconcerned about the rights of  women is quite powerfully projected but lesser known aspect is that men have played an instrumental role in any movement aimed at improvement of women. The greatest example in this category is abolition of Sati Pratha and banning of child marriages. Anyway, the division in labour in Indian society was done by the sages, who played an impartial role while framing laws related with basic structure of Indian society. It favoured none.

These women are also from patriarchal set up. Can't you bear their happiness?

These women are also from patriarchal set up. Can’t you bear their happiness?

Had Indian society been truly patriarchal in nature, as suggested by new age scholars, it would have never led to emergence of bold Indian women who always played equal role in Indian society. Be they queens of ancient era, or the women freedom fighters of pre-Independence era, the Indian women played a significant role. It would not have been possible had women been denied the right to make choices. The modern Indian society is facing new set of complexities but the solution is not devaluation of ancient practices. The empowerment of Indian women does not mean women be entitled to make arbitrary choices on the grounds that men also did the same! In fact, it presupposes that men enjoyed unlimited freedom of all sorts. It’s totally false and erroneous notion. Their choices were also determined by the prescribed rules, keeping in mind the interests of women and children. Let’s be clear that the empowerment of women does not mean to give way to propaganda that “women alone have sufferings and women alone have problems in life”.

At present, the situation has become pretty confusing and dangerous for the growth of Indian society.  The men are being repeatedly portrayed as abusers, leading to anti-family and anti-marriage laws. Indeed, there are problems related with Indian women but then effective measures in form of stringent laws are already there to take note of them. There are many institutions to take care of plight of women, whose recommendations have led to new rules, fresh amendments and etc. in form of Domestic Violence Act, Dowry Act and Maintenance Act, to name a few. In  Vishaka v. State of Rajasthan, the Supreme Court of India in 1997 laid down the guidelines to ensure that sexual harassment at the workplace does not take place, which resulted in framing of the “The Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Bill, 2012”. The problems pertaining to women are being systematically dealt with, and much of the problems have not arisen out of lack of concern for the cause of women in Indian society, but because of lack of effective implementation. So it’s really shrewd to suggest that patriarchal society favours men!

Let’s understand that in name of personal freedom and personal choices one cannot give way to lifestyle which ensures conflicts and dilemmas of disturbing nature. A choice has to be in league with prevalent norms and customs. Or else, women need to effectively satisfy that their choices would not lead to turbulent state of affairs. There is nothing like absolute freedom. She has to convince what would be the state of affairs in such a society, which allows women unrestricted freedom in name of personal choices? That’s because, if there comes no plausible explanation, and still we went in for such a society, it would be hard to wipe out the new set of complexities. That’s the case in other parts of the hemisphere. To see the resistance offered by men, or by the people belonging to old order of living patterns as an attempt to hold back the privileges enjoyed in the patriarchal set-up is not the right interpretation. It’s also not fear to lose the power or monopoly. On the contrary,  it’s an attempt to prevent the citadels of society from crumbling down.

 It’s simply not issue of having choices/making choices in free manner; it’s more about long term consequences of having choices, which indicate the high probability of single women, pills, abortions, extra-marital relations, same-sex relations, stress-related burdens, broken families, deviant kids and etc.? What about the dangerous interference in the evolutionary process, wherein for ages men played the role of protector and women the role of nurturing the kids? With this kind of perverted “role reversal”, are’t we on the wrong track? One of my friends, during gender related conversation, referring to Sunita Williams ( as if only after that Indian women learnt the art to make exceptional choices) stated that she did not have kids for the sake of work! It would be suffice to say that if all women made such a choice, it would not be hard to imagine the fate of evolution of human species! However, this is classic example of selective approach, wherein a woman seeks benefits of traditional society when she feels trapped by her weaknesses but she is absolutely modern when it comes to making choices and rights. That’s paradox at its best since.

After all, it involves taming of the men species to ensure that inequality gets reduced! That has begun in a cruel fashion. Men are now supposed to do something which is never their strength, and a retaliatory gesture on their part is enough to get them the tag of being an abuser and an oppressor! Who will bear the consequences of  “placing men and women in a conflicting role and creating confusion in values”? But that’s still not as ominous as an attempt to create a society which denies even the right to protest on part of men.  “Under cover of the notion of chivalry, as understood by Modern Feminism, Political and Sentimental Feminists alike would deprive men of the most elementary rights of self-defence against women and would exonerate the latter practically from all punishment for the most dastardly crimes against men. They know they can rely upon the support of the sentimental section of public opinion with some such parrot cry of: “Treat a woman in this way!”/   “What! Hit a woman!”.

Indian Men And Women Have Always Lived And Worked Happily Together. Don't destroy their lives via rights.

Indian Men And Women Have Always Lived And Worked Happily Together. Don’t destroy their lives via rights.

It’s interesting that women learnt to move out of their houses, refusing to remain confined to prison like state of affairs within the home, and began to notice that world outside is a different affair altogether. It missed the “having all the pleasure factor” which they had assumed prevailed in men’s life as they began to venture outside. The world would remain a hell’s replica and it would not going to change whether women remains inside the home or moves outside, fulfilling their aspirations and dreams in fullest manner. However, having said that, let’s make the world safer and better for the women community.  Nobody said that problems pertaining to women’s life, be they of any type, sexual assault, low wages, discrimination, should be ignored.

What I wish to suggest is that while dealing with women’s issues, the gender politics should not get mixed with the reforms. An attempt to distort the intimate relationship with men and women should not become the prime motive in guise of welfare. Sadly, that’s how one feels while analyzing the current state of affairs, wherein right from biological facts, psychological facts and legal truths, all are being  selectively quoted, or quoted in perverted manner to suit the vested interests acting as agents of change in world of women.

That’s why all conscious souls, interested in right developments, should become alert when “there is no distinction between potential and probability. An allegation suffices for proof. Hearsay is taken for gospel.” (Charles E. Corry). Rohan,  Men’s Rights activist, Bangalore, conveys the same sentiments in a different way: ” Women have the right to be seated when in a bus or in a train. They have the right to 50% reservation in govt. jobs and academics. They have the right to claim alimony and maintenance, even in a live-in relationship. They have only  rights and men only have duties. This is called equality, according to feminazis.”

Precisely, it’s for the very same reason it  has become need of the hour to present the happenings taking place in world of men in an aggressive and conscious manner. The happier side of the movements aimed to improve the life of women has been “demolition of the idea that women are inherently nice”.  The thing that’s now taking place is that discrimination and abuse stories related with women are being presented both in right and wrong way, with help of paid media. Facts, right and wrong, are flowing thick and past to show that how women have been underprivileged and suppressed lot. No one is bothered to check either the authenticity of facts nor the source, forget about probing them from wide angles.

Anyway, since all this is  happening in the name of ensuring a better world for women, I am but compelled to endorse them. But with a condition and appeal: Let’s also reveal the true picture of the sufferings, pains, humiliation, torture faced by men side-by-side the stories which talk about sufferings of women, with the same honesty and intensity! That alone will  bring the true story, true picture. At present, we are witnessing with abuse stories related with women only. That’s unfair to hear/see only one side in any story and jump to flawed conclusions applicable to totality.

Why such a wish irks those concerned with rights of women?  Will society be a better place only if you enable the women to have all the rights? Why shouldn’t the rights of men be discussed in the same breath? Why should not adequate attention be paid to silent sufferings of men? It leaves me aghast that tragedies, stories of discrimination associated with men, their precarious state of affairs being involved in hazardous and tough activities and regular interaction with dilemmas and ironies of peculiar type are being talked about in matter-of-fact tones. Worse, any attempt to bring the truth get checkmated by giving the impression that since men are about to lose the power, lose the privileges, these are reactionary backlash. That’s an absurd and fleeting observation. The right interpretation is that men have now begun to get organized to make “gender equality”  attain a right shape, a right balance, a right  proportion. And this would never stop.

P.S.:  Many thanks to my  friend, Rohan, whose views  I have borrowed from the conversation we had on Instablogs on one of my posts having the same theme. He is Men’s Rights Activist hailing from  Bangalore.

Indian Men Have Always Worked Hard. Don't  Create Their False Image.

Indian Men Have Always Worked Hard. Don’t Create Their False Image.


Sexual Harassment Bill

Shattering Myth  Called Patriarchy

Society Always Tilted Towards   Women

Pics  Credit:

Pic One 

Pic Two

Pic  Three

Pic Four

Death Is More Honest Than Life!

In  Conversation With Life And Death

In Conversation With Life And Death

I met lots of people in this short life, who preached me in pompous tone that ego is bad, money is filth, ladies are evil and etc. That I have had heard umpteen times since childhood, and, interestingly, I came to live a more realistic and down-to-earth life than those who talked about such values publicly in glittering company of like minded souls! I found people, talking about life devoid of ego, the most egocentric souls, chasing name and fame with greater passion than anyone else. I met shrewdness disguised as faithfulness. Friend or beloved, they turned out to be more like poison placed in silver cup.  

And still, having seen such worst contradictions, I feel life is a beautiful affair. Life’s canvas still motivates me to live life fully. May be life has some more cruel lessons to offer me! But I am now no more interested in life’s equations similar to one which we notice on chessboard-you win I lose types. In fact, its cruel maneuvers never appealed to my sense instinctively. Precisely, that’s why I have never been passionate admirer of life’s idiotic episodes. My philosophy, until now, has been to deal sincerely with whatever came to cross my path. For me, the very fact that you have arrived in this world of human beings is a big mistake- a divine joke. May be for a greater lot, these changing facets of life turn out to be as important as a life and death issue, but in my eyes, the life mired in deceptiveness at its every turn, does not evoke great concern. I find even the most beautiful episodes of life, have their genesis in some sort of deception. So as I suffer pain, when I come to hear about loss of loved ones, or when I anticipate a blissful episode, the nothingness of life keeps me in state of peace.     

Sometimes back I read  powerful arguments in favour of death. And one of them stated that death is very much needed since if you continued living, you would realize that people who lived around you as picture of faithfulness were nothing but beings mired in selfishness! Death arrives to retain your illusion. It does you a great favour by keeping your faith intact in flawed people. I am sure had life allowed a legitimate route to embrace death all by oneself, I am sure many would have adopted that path. India’s great revolutionary Bhagat Singh had made a remarkable comment- hanged to death by the British Government in the pre-Independence era- that had he been living, life would have heaped upon him some more chosen scandals. So he is so happy that death has embraced him in the prime of his youth; that death kept his so many vices secret. That’s why he was more happy than sad when hanged to death order was delivered to him. In my eyes, he was the ideal example of these words: “Those whom the gods love die young.”

It’s pathetic that laws of this nation-may be elsewhere too-are strange. They treat suicide a crime. However, the same lawmakers, being devoid of accountability, fail to ensure that people who abetted suicide of innocent person should not go scot-free. The policymakers take no measures to keep away those scenarios, which compel anybody to think about killing oneself. Paradoxically, aiding and abetting suicide, becomes a cause of concern only when someone brings the issue in the court. It’s easy to understand that why it’s never the case. The case in court drags for years and in the end we find the accused denied punishment in want of concrete evidences. So it’s really amusing, and tragic as well, that society first promotes crime and then the same society delivers verdicts. Isn’t that height of absurdity? 

Anyway, the pretenders, who unfortunately claim to be my close friends- the ones who are guilty of complicating my simple life, dare to ask me as to why I am not a public figure, why I am not that involved in life’s silly episodes the way they are? Interestingly,  they are like the conspirators, standing by your side as a mute spectator, just like you, witnessing the tragedy given birth by them. Since they often dare to ask me such a question with straight face, I need to quote these lines by well known poet Sahir Ludhianvi  as a reply to these curious souls-the conspirators:

“क्या मिलिए ऐसे लोगो से जिनकी फ़ितरत छुपी रहे,
 नकली चेहरा सामने आये असली सूरत छुपी रही
 खुद से भी जो खुद को छुपाये क्या उनसे पहचान करे,
  क्या उनके दामन से लिपटे क्या उनका अरमान करे,
  जिनकी आधी नीयत उभरे आधी नीयत छुपी रहे।”   

“Is there any point in meeting with people, having dubious intentions?
  Who project their unreal image, but keep the real one hidden
  People, who have kept secret from themselves, too, their own real image
  Why should I embrace them, and seek them ?
  People who half disclose their intentions, keeping close to their hearts the actual intentions.” 

Another brilliant poet, Nida Fazli, has exposed the real elements, which constitute the so-called beautiful episodes of life. These verses in my eyes reveal the reality of life. For a simple person like me, I don’t think that such a cruel world can ever elicit deep attention on my part. It’s another thing that for people of the world, I might look like living, but internally I am on par with dead.

“हर तरफ हर जगह बेशुमार आदमी,
               फिर भी तनहाइयों का शिकार आदमी,

                सुबह से शाम तक बोझ ढ़ोता हुआ,
                 अपनी लाश का खुद मज़ार आदमी,

                 हर तरफ भागते दौड़ते रास्ते,
                 हर तरफ आदमी का शिकार आदमी,

                रोज़ जीता हुआ रोज़ मरता हुआ,
                हर नए दिन नया इंतज़ार आदमी,

                 जिन्दगी का मुक्कदर सफ़र दर सफ़र,
                   आखिरी साँस तक बेकरार आदमी”                    

“Everywhere there is sea of people 
   Yet a person suffers from isolation
   Carrying the burdens from morning till evening 
   Human being has become some sort of moving tomb

   Everywhere you find busy roads
   Wherein one person becomes victim of other person

    Every day a person wakes up only to die a bit more
    And still greets each day with great expectations

    The destiny of human life from its one episode to another
    Is to remain anxious till last breath.”

P.S.: Translation Of The Verses Done By The Author Of This Post.

Life and Death Are Always Inseparable

Life and Death Are Always Inseparable

Pics Credit:

Pic One

Pic Two

Tale Of Three Great Street Dogs, Which Protected An Abandoned Baby

The Three Saviours

The Three Saviours

This world seems to have fallen prey to negative forces. Or else, it would have been easy to find meaning in the happenings of world. Old friends turn into foes in no time; parents leave the kids into lurch, whom they once raised with great care; trust gets repeatedly shattered by the ones who are supposed to be most  trustworthy; lovers who loved each other with great intimacy come to parting of ways over  insignificant issues; friends appear more lethal than actual enemies, and couples who tied knot in glittering ceremony having religious and legal sanctity, live in same relationship which a customer strikes with a sex-worker.

While surfing the net, I came across this very moving picture. It shows a new-born protected by three stray dogs. The news item below this picture, clicked by Tapan Mukherjee, stated that these three dogs not only protected this child throughout the night but also followed the crowd, which carried the baby to Burtolla Police Station. They remained there and returned only after the Officer-in-charge at Burtolla Police Station completed the proceedings of shifting it to home for abandoned babies.

This baby was placed near the dustbin in one of the localities of Calcutta on the evening of 23rd May, 1996. One might argue that  this type of incidents are pretty common in nation having population of more than one billion people. It’s understood that this baby either due to social stigma or curse of poverty was left at the mercy of fate. Still, the photograph filled me with pain. That’s because I have seen many couples wishing to have baby but baby always eludes their fate. They remain childless. On the other hand, we find parents subjecting their child to such cruel treatment, involving abandonment.

True, human beings in our times might be competing with devil, but it appears animals have retained the attributes found in Lord. They realize what sensitivity really means, and the great words/phrases carved by human beings like “care” and “sense of responsibility” are in actuality lived by animals, or else one would have found such words in dictionaries alone. Paradoxically,  these stray dogs are projected as nuisance by civilized human beings and subjected to death. However, human beings continue to emerge successful with their shrewd manueveres  which are not only poisoning social relationships but also corrupting the entire globe. Kudos to these street dogs, which exhibited to God’s most beautiful creation, human being, the art of offering true help. Kudos to news reporter Pinaki Mujumdar, for reporting this heart-rending news in touching manner, making it clear that some people are still left in fourth estate to add dignity to it.

No..No..This was not the part of rescue  team :p

No..No..This one was not the part of rescue team :p


Pics  Credit and References:

Photograph by Tapan Mukherjee, courtesy Aajkaal, a Bengali daily (Dated 25th May 1996)

Original News Report Filed By Pinaki Mujumdar

Savage Humans and Stray Dogs, a book by Hiranmay Karlekar, Sage Publications 2008



Pic Two


In Conversation With Higher Self

In Conversation With Higher Self

I was once again with Radha. When all others have lost their relevance in my life, she continues to serve me like dutiful wife, opening new zones of vision each day. Who is Radha? Obviously, she cannot belong to this earthly plane. She represents my chamber of mind, which has been personified to provide it a bit of tangibility. And named Radha? To show its origin.

Night was towards its nadir. Only Radha and I were there in the dingy room, arguing over merits and demerits of certain aspect, staring into nothingness during moments of silence that too often interrupted our conversation. Of late, it has become extremely difficult for me to appease Radha. With her strange notions, she always manages to put me on the knife-edge. Later, she repents over her harshness but by then damage has become irreparable. As a damage-control measure, Radha, for few days, distances away from too much of twisting but as I am about to regain equanimity she is back to her usual business with a bang. These days intense debate is going on over the place of marriage in my life.

“So you have decided not to get married,”


“Will you please let the cat out of the bag?” she demanded with a stroke of sarcasm.

“I thought that by now you would have guessed about it. If you haven’t let me tell you that in absence of right partner, I have put this issue on the backburner”, I replied in a cool and calm way.

“What a pity! Yaar, can’t you be little pragmatic? Why are you always hell-bent on emulating a self-destructive logic? You are now well past marriage age. Think about your anxious parents…” she said before being interrupted.

“Well, lend me your ears,” I said, seeking her attention. After a moment of silence I said: ‘ Just like other obedient sons and daughters of present age! They pretend to be close to their parents but on their back care a damn about their reputation. They are always up to confrontation but for the world’s sake they project a sober picture of their maddening lives, keep marrying in the name of providing relief to the parents, but once this tamasha gets over, they immediately abandon their parents. And for rest of their life parents live a lonely life; neither the society not their faithful children show up their faces. Only the other day I read about a lady who died after fighting a long battle with a dreaded disease. Do you know what their sons were doing when her heart must be burning with a desire to see them? They were relaxing in their apartments in Canada, came back seven or eight months later after so many reminders?

“No, I did not mean that, what I am trying to convey is that your parents be greatly relieved once you get married. After all, haven’t they raised you up amid comforts? Aren’t you ashamed over your callousness which has burdened their hearts with additional pain besides those emanating from worldly concerns?”, asked Radha stubbornly.

“Do you understand, Radha, do you anticipate the real motives in the words flowing out unconsciously from the bosom. You are mistaken if you find this sort of thing fit for casual execution; it’s not as simple as it appears to be. Listen, children should never be made vehicle for carrying out ambitions of the parents. Since you have brought them up it becomes obligatory for them to serve your interests, such uttering sound blasphemous. When such intimate relations are build up to ignite selfish considerations, no matter how noble your intentions may be, what is the need to carve place for lofty ideals in our lives? To rope in your bogus expectations, all in the name of rituals would only make the values redundant, existing in our life like lightening in the clouds!

“I understand it all! You are trying to make suspect myself. But remember, you could no longer fool me by spooky versions, “said Radha caught in whirlpool of contradictory emotions. I was smiling being aware of the fact that she was on the brink of losing ground.

“Radha, at least you should not be mindless in criticizing my stand point. Parents, Chachas*, Mamas*, friends and other near and dear ones, have put to sleep their analytical faculty, drugged their discrimination, having given way to compromises. It doesn’t hurt me at all as I know well that such relations are guided by second-rate convictions, frequently changing color to remain in sync with the world. Don’t you think concerns like marriage, job and etc. must be perforce choice of an individual, more so if he or she has attained a level of maturity? The only factor that should be given utmost importance is that whether or not it leads to beneficial changers for people around. If it doesn’t violate the above-mentioned condition, I don’t feel anyone has the right to question about its worth.”

“Now look at the fate,” trembling with passion I said, “of married couples, those who in the eyes of world have been sincere in honoring the wishes of their parent. Be sure, I am not trying to pass a moral judgment on one of the most respectable institutions established by our forefathers with great care. But one cannot ignore the degeneration that has wiped away its finer aspects. They quarrel over trivial issues, hurl choicest abuses at each other, emotionally and intellectually so wide apart yet living together for fulfillment of physical desires, meaningless union but could not separate owing to societal compulsions and yet in the eyes of the world they belong to honorable class of people. Why? Just because they are the by-product of time-tested institution! In other cases husbands and wives are living shattered lives, thanks to the ups and downs of the realistic life, existing merely as instruments with no time to exchange compliments. In some exaggerated examples, both the partners are found trapped in immoral affairs. Reason-not satisfied with each other desperately and now need a change coupled with experimentation! I wonder in age of so many revolutionary isms, it would be highly unfair to treat immoral as immoral. Give it a respectable place, or, simply vanish.”

I said all this with a provocative smile. Not willing to give her room to cast stones at me, I went ahead with my views “What hurts me is elders stubborn refusal to learn lesson from their past mistakes. Having witnessed the consequence of pursuing faulty line of action, they come up with another set of perverse notions. The most shameful thing is that they don’t regret at all. I am horrified over the dullness of these ‘experienced’ brains, which are so cocksure about efficiency of their worn-out ways and means. It was indeed grave mistake that I came to assume repentance unleashed wisdom in their consciousness.”

For some reason, this greatly moved her. Refusing the emotion let loose on her head she said: “Forgive me, I wasn’t aware of the seriousness of the crises. Yes, you are right that one should not expect anything worthwhile from people with a very limited vision. But I am more concerned about you. In all this drama, it’s you who have suffered the most, being the victim of events, which were not entirely your own making. Let them resort to such desperate remedies, at this point of time, I would like to know about your steps to diffuse the crisis.”

“Radha, it’s never has been a well-guarded secret. In fact, the very clarity of my purpose has often allowed others to sabotage it. The likes of worldly experts have left little room for bringing in better choices, yet I have not lost hopes. One thing is crystal clear that it’s not going to fall in the same bracket of affairs like gambling. Instead of being dictated by hazy vision, personal complexes and inflated egos of aberrated minds, the decision should emanate from deeper realm of intellect, leaving no room for setbacks in the future.”

“But suppose such a holistic version refuses to materialize in your life?” she questioned thoughtfully. She was aware of the fact that rudeness of life does not provide humane approaches many chances to germinate.

“Radha, you are now loosing your sense of proportion. Is it sin to go beyond the dictates of people whose thinking abilities are covered in cobwebs? It is crime to provide life and vibrancy to your prized affairs? Perhaps it’s better to move alone than to be part of nightmarish experiences all your life, under the veneer of traditions and rigorous social customs.”

Radha half-whispered to herself and for a while allowed the silence to reign. She was unsuccessfully trying to conceal her tears, something that prevented her to go ahead with the conversation. Being absorbed in the same state of mind she exclaimed, “ I am afraid you would not be able to survive for too long in the world reserved solely for dogs! I know well that sensitive souls like you cannot survive without a companion. When that was the case, why didn’t you find one molded in your perception?”

“Well, a chance encounter had dragged me towards such a soul, but before it could blossom, it succumbed to the primitive-thoughtlessness of the pseudo-crusaders of the society. These perfect spoilsports who are mired in unspeakable affairs attain a sacrosanct position in these matters; on their verdicts innocent souls are mercilessly butchered without given a slight chance to communicate their intentions. As the days pass away, souls like us slowly get reduced to ashes amid gross activities of average everyday life.” “ I am eager to know her name, my dear fellow” Radha insisted.

“What is in the name? For me, she was simply your reflection! That’s all,” I suddenly said, looking straight at her face.

“Hm-that’s all right- but what about your friends? Why didn’t they conceive a strategy to pull you out of the mess?” she asked, blushing with gloomy eyes.

“It’s a sad reflection, but I could not resist myself from making a confession that they were enemies masquerading as friends. It seems strange but they left no opportunity, like bunch of cheap crooks, to create nuisance at defining moments. Worse, after causing the debacle, they were little ashamed in delivering absurd suggestions, to view the whole episode as hand-work of destiny! It was indeed misplaced trust on these determined liars, who with help of their half-truths, spelled doom for me. Though I wanted to retain the illusion of recognizing them as friends for a longer time, however, their sincerity towards shrewdness made it impossible.”

“So now you are all alone! Being burdened with awesome grief how are you going to remain on the right-track, one that makes the journey of life fruitful? You are in terrible state of loss!” burst out Radha with restless anxiety. Evidently, she was quite out of her wits, all the time eyes were glued on her feet, momentarily rising up to stare at my face with sad and severe look that left me horrified.

“Radha! I find myself trapped in the body. I don’t want to get identified with fifth of this sort, an identification that has now little meaning for me except initiating cycle of meaningless cause and effects. Give me blue, for survival” I said in a distinct tone.

“Blue? What does it stand for?” asked Radha in a trembling voice with a cold smile.

“Radha, you seem to have fallen in league of present day politicians, who so easily forget their promises! I am surprised to find you so forgettable a person. Just a little while ago, haven’t I attributed it to you as your intrinsic nature?” no sooner had I asked this I found her giving way to strange look.

Later, a smile dipped in divinity, flashed across her face. The night has changed her tempo, inviting the dawn to unfold its magic. Meanwhile, Radha has embraced my consciousness, placing me in her domain – unending stretch of blueness that came to annihilate our distinction, making us one forever.

Away From The Maddening World

Away From The Maddening World


Chacha: Brother Of Father

Mama: Brother Of Mother

Pics Credit:

Pic One 

Pic Two

From Sally To Arvind: Thoughts Deciphering Relationship Between Man And Woman


It's Never Easy To Truly Understand Each Other

It’s Never Easy To Truly Understand Each Other

It’s a rare phenomenon in a virtual world to receive comments/letters, which are powerful enough to make you go in a thinking mode. The dialogues or conversations taking place between  netizens are often devoid of substance, purely for the sake of cheap thrills. Anyway, the words of my highly conscious female friend Sally, living in United Kingdom, proved to be an exception. She is an excellent blogger, who not only loves to sing but also appears to be in love with languages, being fluent in Spanish, German and French. Her views provide a deep insight about the complexities, which have begun to shatter relationship existing between man and woman. Let’s have a look at her views but before that it would be appropriate to apprise the readers of my own words which compelled Sally to have such a conscious take on this complicated issue.

And yes, Sally, when I began writing I never intended to beat the Britishers in English writing skills! I have always been interested in presentation of thoughts with not so much regards for rules of grammar. That’s what I am still doing: Learning with each passing day with greater hold on presentation of deeper thoughts, related with sensitive issues. Anyway, thanks for complimenting me on my English. They mean a lot to me. At least, they give me power to keep writing with confidence in the world of English writing, marred by fierce competitiveness.

That’s what I said:

“It’s really baffling to anticipate that women have changed a lot but the mindset that sees them as a weaker sex remains the same. We continue to treat them as sex which cannot do anything wrong. Interestingly, it had never been the reality. Not even in times when they were icons of virtue. They are equally capable of plotting in a sinister way. In fact, they are far superior in working in evil ways.

Yet we notice that when laws are framed, they are framed treating woman as a harmless creature!  Will anybody explain me what’s the rationale behind this generosity shown by the lawmakers? What prevents the lawmakers from anticipating something that’s too obvious even to a person having little knowledge of women’s behaviour? This calculated ignorance on part of lawmakers has turned Indian homes into battlefields. Clash of egos is now so commonplace. The couples suffer but the policemen, lawyers, judges, women’s organizations and feminist institutions keep making money. The fights are also good for the economy. The couple living separate lives will be viewing television separately!

The times have really changed. Women make babies suffer but forget not to save time for friends, parties and doggies. This drama is, indeed, more comic than ‘The Great Indian Laughter Challenge’, and at the same time, more tragic than disaster hitting the planet earth.”

Now pay attention to the words of my extremely sensitive friend Sally:

This is a very interesting discussion. I think where there is any extreme there must always be a backlash the other way.

In this country (the UK), when women’s rights came to the fore it wasn’t too long before the balance tipped in their favour.  Men were demonised (“all men are rapists”, etc.) and women insisted on equality in all areas, much to their own detriment in terms of the social niceties such as men standing when a woman entered the room, men opening doors for women, etc. Whereas women were fighting for the “right” to work, this has inevitably led to all women being expected to work, whilst still looking after their husbands and partners (forget the “New Man”, he doesn’t exist!) and also bring up their children.

This initially back-lashed to the emasculation of men and they were much derided in advertising campaigns and TV soap operas, etc.

The truth is there are intelligent people and not so intelligent people, there are good people and bad people, strong people and weak people – of both sexes – and gender doesn’t come into the equation. Men and women should have equal rights in law, and there should be fairness in society, and men and women should complement each other. Look at nature – in some respects the male dominates, in other respects the female does. There is balance.

We should respect each other’s gender, and work in harmony. We can rejoice in our differences.

As a visitor to India, I was aware that there were many aspects which seemed, to a Western observer, to be very old fashioned. Some attitudes towards women I encountered were quaint and charming, some I found patronising, and others downright offensive (whether I was judged, as a Western woman, to have looser morals I cannot say but on a couple of occasions I was manhandled – literally – in an unacceptable fashion). On the whole, however, I was treated with respect. I was, however, left with the impression that men had the upper hand culturally.

My impression before visiting India – mostly derived from watching “Bollywood” movies – was that the Indian male’s view of womanhood was that of a fragile flower, who should be chaste but sassy, and in need of the male’s protection,  but who might equally be a devious temptress or harridan, using womanly wiles or a strong personality to get her own way. The truth is that men and women are not so different – we laugh, we cry, we nurture, we manipulate, we love, we hate, we feel.

Just as men abuse women, women abuse men. If anything, the abuse of men is less likely to be reported since society would have it that the abused man is weak, which is not necessarily the case at all.

Even in the UK in the 21st century there are still serious issues, such as the rights of divorced and separated fathers concerning access to their children, which need addressing. Although women are said to have equality, men are still on the whole earning more than women in similar jobs.

Oh yes, and I agree with the song “Paisa bolta hai” (money speaks). Many laws are made which protect the interests those who make them. The people who make the laws are mostly men.

May I take this opportunity to congratulate you on your English, which is probably equally as good as mine, if not better, and certainly much better than my Hindi!


Balance  Alone Leads To Genuine Intimacy

Balance Alone Leads To Genuine Intimacy


Pics Credit:

Pic One 

Pic Two


एक बात उन पिताओ से जो अपने बच्चो को नहीं समझते

ऐसे पिता कम हुएँ जिन्होंने बच्चो को वाकई समझा

ऐसे पिता कम हुएँ जिन्होंने बच्चो को वाकई समझा

किसी ने सही कहा है  वे पिता कम ही होते है जो अपने बच्चो को सही सही समझ पाते है. ज्यादातर बच्चे अपने पिता से नहीं उलझते क्योकि उनमे और पिता के सोच में भेद नहीं होता. जो व्यावहारिक ज्ञान पिता देना चाहते है  संसार में सफलता प्राप्त करने के वास्ते  बच्चे पिता के  उसी  ज्ञान को  ग्रहण करते है बिना किसी के प्रतिरोध के क्योकि उनमे भी संसारिकता कूट कूट कर भरी होती है. लिहाज़ा तकरार की संभावना कम होती है.माता पिता बच्चो को धूर्त बनाना चाहते है और बच्चे बनते है क्योकि समाज ही ऐसा है जहा धूर्तता आवश्यक है समाज में आगे बढ़ने के लिए.  सामने वाले का गला काट दो और उफ भी ना करो इस तरह की निर्ममता का सम्प्रेषण अक्सर माता-पिता और बच्चो के बीच होता है. इसलिए आप देखेंगे कि समाज में विषमता बढ़ी है.  समाज और क्रूर और निष्ठुर हुआ है. संवेदनशीलता और घटी है.

बिडम्बना ये है कि हर माता पिता चाहते है कि समाज बच्चो के लिए जो उनका भविष्य है थोडा सा बेहतर बने पर अपने जीवन में इस सोच को उतार नहीं पाते है. शायद माया के प्रभाव में वे ये समझ नहीं पाते है कि जब आप बबुल बो देते है तो आम होने की संभावना  बिल्कुल ख़त्म हो जाती है.  ऐसा नहीं कि वे बच्चो को दी गयी गलत शिक्षा का, व्यावहारिकता के नाम पर, का दुष्परिणाम नहीं भोगते.  बिल्कुल भोगते है पर तब तक देर बहुत हो  चुकी होती है और इसके साथ ही एक  दूसरी पीढ़ी उन्ही गलत बात को सत्य मानकर तैयार हो चुकी होती है.  लिहाज़ा पिता और पुत्रो के बीच ये व्यावहारिक ज्ञान का आदान प्रदान चलता रहता है. और साथ में चलता रहता है ये विधवा विलाप कि बच्चे हमारी सुनते नहीं. हमने इतना किया  और आज हमारा ही तिरस्कार करके बुढापे में अकेला छोड़  गए. ये ड्रामेबाजी भी साथ में चलती रहती है. ये भूल जाते है कि  बच्चा पेट से सीखकर नहीं आता. ठीक है कुछ अच्छे बुरे संस्कार लेकर आता है पेट से पर उनका शोधन हो सकता था अगर वाकई माता पिता उन्हें बेहतर शिक्षा देते बेहतर शिक्षा के नाम पर.

लेकिन हम उन्हें मक्कार बनाने की शिक्षा देते है ताकि वे इस सड़े गले समाज में उनके द्वारा स्थापित परिपाटी पर आसानी से चल सके.  जो नहीं चल पाते इनसे उनका छत्तीस का आकंडा होता है लेकिन ये अपवाद ही होते है. ज्यादातर बच्चे उसी सांचे में ढलते है जो उनको विरासत में मिलता है. ये अलग बात है कि जो आग ये लगाते  है अंत में उसी में झुलस जाते है लेकिन इसके बावजूद ये ड्रामा पीढ़ी  डर पीढ़ी चलता रहता है.  अंत में ऐसे माता पिता अलग धलग पड़ जाते है. वक्त के साथ पिटे हुए मोहरे होकर अलग कटते कटते तमाम शिकवो शिकायतों  के साथ ये इस दुनिया से से चले जाते है.  शिकायत मसलन बच्चो ने इस बुढापे में उनको बिल्कुल अकेला  छोड़ दिया.  ये बताते वक्त वे भूल जाते है कि इन्होने ही आखिर संतानों को समझाया कि मानवीय रिश्तो से बड़े पैसे कमाने की कला होती है. सो अब किस बात की आपत्ति कि जब बच्चो ने इस कला में पारंगत होकर आपको सम्मान देना जरूरी नहीं समझा. 

खैर अपवाद की बाते करे. वे संताने जो पिता के व्यावहारिक ज्ञान को नकारते हुए समाज  को कुछ बेहतर देने का प्रयास करते है  वे खुद समाज और पिताओ की नज़र में सबसे बड़े निकम्मे और कामचोर होते है.  ऐसा आज से नहीं अनादि काल से है.  आप को अक्सर वहा कांफ्लिक्ट देखने को मिलेगा जहा पर जरा संताने अपने पिता से हट के सोच रखती है.  ऐसी संतानों को समाज और पिता दोनों की नज़रो में गिरना पड़ता है क्योकि वे समाज के गंदे समीकरणों  को ध्वस्त करके आगे बढ़ते है.  मेरा तो यही कहना है पिताओं से कि संतानों पे अपना पुराना पड़ चुका ज्ञान और इच्छाएं ना थोपे. उन्हें अपने निर्णय खुद लेने दे.  अगर वे गलत  है प्रकृति उन्हें सही रास्ते पे स्वयं ला देंगी. आप उन्हें बस अपना रास्ता स्वयं बनाने में सहायता देते चले. वैसे ओशो की बात में इस  बात का जवाब छुपा है कि समाज बदलता क्यों नहीं. 

“शुरू हुई राजनीति।
अब तुम इनको पारंगत करोगे राजनीति में,
चालाक बनाओगे, बेईमान बनाओगे।
और फिर तुम बड़ी हैरानी की बातें करते हो बाद में।
जब पढ़ा-लिखा आदमी बेईमान हो जाता है,
तुम कहते हो यह कैसी शिक्षा है!
पूरी बीस-पच्चीस वर्ष की उम्र तक
तुम व्यक्ति को बेईमान होने की शिक्षा देते हो।
फिर जब वह आ कर जेबें काटने लगता है
और बेईमानी करने लगता है, धोखाधड़ी करता है,
तो तुम कहते हो यह मामला क्या है?
इससे तो गैर-पढ़े-लिखे बेहतर थे,
कम से कम बेईमान तो न थे।
गैर पढ़ा-लिखा बेईमान हो भी नहीं सकता;
बेईमानी के लिए कुशलता चाहिए।
पकड़ा जाएगा अगर जरा बेईमानी की।
उसके लिए थोड़ी कारीगरी चाहिए।
उसके लिए विश्वविद्यालय का सर्टिफिकेट चाहिए।” 
बच्चो को मासूम रहने दे

बच्चो को मासूम रहने दे

Pics Credit:

Pic One

Pic Two 

Modern Lovers Or Couples Loving Breakups and Separation More Than Long Intimate Union !

Breakups Are Very Painful

Breakups Are Very Painful

It’s really hard to understand why lovers or couples who were so intimately involved in courtship years feel the need to move on different routes barely after few years of togetherness in a marital relationship? In my eyes,  such breakdowns are indicative of weak foundation.  Just the way the wall crumbles down if it’s devoid of proper foundation, the modern relationships are crumbling because they were not built upon the proper values in the formative years.  At the same time it cannot be altogether denied that negative education has made newer generation hyperconscious.  As a result of wrong conditioning we are not able to imbibe positive values which ensure healthy relationship.  For instance, co-operation is indicative of weakness. One needs to prove one’s worth.  So when competitive spirits sets in the wisdom gives ways to trickery or cleverness.  One might be totally corrupt but one should know how to promote himself as saint! That’s called management funda by our modern times management gurus!  We have now mastered this art.  The world is being ruled by such people only.  No wonder right from offices to homes are all in state of doldrums.

Some feel that new work culture in which couples do not get enough time to share qualitative moments might be the reason of rise in cases of separation. However,  one needs to ask why did we give rise to such system which ensured such maddening involvement of both the sexes? On top of it,  it was very cleverly filled inside the consciousness of modern women that they can live life on their own with no assistance from anyone else.  Obviously, heightened individualism ensured that modern women feels it insulting to compromise or adjust! At the same time, capitalist values ensured that greed controls both the sexes.  So even as the couple talked about love somewhere in the mind the desire to own big house and car or, for that matter,  comforts of life remained the cherished goals.

Economic security does ensure stability but bigger financial dreams often acts as spoilsport.  So bigger became our dreams, the lesser became our happiness. Above all,  in an attempt to realize our dreams we created a huge distance from our real being.  After all, bigger dreams cannot be realized unless we have learnt the art of deception, unless we have learnt to work like machines.  Once we turned into machines the home life representative of intimate feelings became some sort of stopover.  It also ensured that complexities look like part and parcel of human life; complex relationship look more meaningful than normal relationships and all lesser people got  worshiped as icons of success.  Against this backdrop,  it’s obvious break ups are more visible than tales of long union.

Is there a way to restore lost love or lost intimacy ?  Yes.  However, the problem with human beings is that as they increase the subtlety of mind they coin strange terms to define human relationships.  That way they make the human life more complex.   Life is calmer when we rise above the such stupid notions carved by humans.  Just go back in times when we were kids. We were mired in bliss since we loved life to its fullest.  Now we don’t enjoy life.  The new absurd categorizations which sees men and women as alpha male and alpha female have blocked the interplay of emotions humane in nature.  So the most effective way to ensure a good relationship is to strike a good bond with our real being.  How can we know that we have struck a perfect bond with it ? Once it happens we start thinking in simple ways.  Like a walk together becomes as romantic as dinner in costly restaurant!!  Let’s learn to be simple so that we regain the ability to see the world from our own eyes rather than seeing the world from eyes of corrupt souls.

I am interested in deep loving relationship between man and woman.  And I am really in pain to say that as both sexes are evolving it’s become difficult for them to live together in perfect harmony.  I prefer inertness of previous ages than evolution of nowadays.  At least,  we were able to “drink from thine eyes” quite freely without being fear of labeled as this or that.

“Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss within the cup
And I’ll not ask for wine.”

( Ben Jonson)

Pretenders Are Losers

Pretenders Are Losers

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That’s not the age to be in love!

Moving like lost ship in the ocean

Moving like lost ship in the ocean

You appear in memories
And I cry again
The age in which love crossed our hearts
Murmured the dragon called society
That’s not the age to be in love!
You didn’t protest
Nor I came to chain the dragon
And as it breathed fire
Our dreams got burnt
Time changed its cover
And arrived the age to love
Prevailed now the glorious illusion
Called glories of the skin
By which hanged the misery
In form of earthly fame.

Around me moved sea of people
Competing with chameleon
Burning in the flame of fame
Filling the episodes of life
With strange amalgam of black and white.

I searched for you in these new shades
Even in the isolation filling these shades
And I realized you were now a gentle breeze
Flowing in some unknown distant land
With you love remained like love
With all its mysteries and foggy depth.

When you changed I realized
That world does change
Sometimes to beat the time
Sometimes to be beaten by the time
I too tried to change my skin
Punctured the self within
To let it imbibe the law of change
Yet it remained the ancient self
Those who changed now wear some crown
And I the unchanged
Moving like lost ship in the ocean.


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Love, Sex, Rape And Society

Forced To Keep Mouth Shut

Forced To Keep Mouth Shut

I am in love with Radio since childhood. It’s my first love.  That’s because it remained above the distortions that hit the silver screen /idiot box with passage of time, providing healthy entertainment,  besides keeping me in touch with changes taking place in the world.  The other two mediums gave way to skin show but radio kept its virginity intact for long.  However, very recently I discovered that it has too given way to vulgarity and obscenity. This time vulgarity entered not through the eyes but through the ears in form of sound waves.

It took me by surprise when I found one of the very young female listeners shrieking out loudly on radio that she enjoys uninterrupted “Sex and the city” and others can also have same quality experience like her if they come to own a particular brand of set top box!  It appeared to me that society has really progressed- a belief that did not stay for long.  That probably also explains why we have so many late night programmes on radio, often hosted by female presentators with remarkable confidence.  That makes me feel pretty awkward within as how come being a male I lack the same confidence? Anyway, the arrival of songs like “ Ooh la la“, “ Chikni Chameli“,   ” Bhaag DK Bose” and “ Jalebi Bai“,  to name a few, on radio wiped out whatever little respectability radio had so painfully preserved in all these ears.

Anyway,  it gave me some sort of satisfaction that bombardment of such songs and programmes is indicative of growing maturity in society- something also in tune with supply and demand theory.  I mean I felt when young generation can so boldly discuss and share their experiences on radio, television and online portals I have no reason to assume that times have not really changed, in which people like me owning a great degree of shyness in such matters are like great black patch on clean white plain clothe. Have a look at our teenage days. We had just morning shows at theaters delivering “Gupt Gyana” (secret knowledge), which was rarely watched by guys and gals from decent homes and then there were magazines like “Playboy” which few could afford and some Hindi books- poor versions of foreign magazines.  To discuss such matters was considered taboo and television after much consideration started showing late night movies in late 80s, which none watched.

Look at our times.  We have helpline numbers that deal with queries related with post marriage worries !! There is growing awareness about sex education, more than need of moral education- to such an extent that talks about moral education seems to be regressive! Well,  my eyes were wide opened when some months ago next door young boy,studying in good school and belonging to a good family, asked me ,” Do I own CD of Murder-2 ?”  My response in negative made him give me a strange stare and he was virtually annoyed when I asked why he has so much interest in movie having bold scenes-based on theme revolving around extra marital affairs? He smiled and said I am not in sync with recent trends!! I found merit in his response , after all, how come I forgot that all national magazines carry out sex surveys, which has details of intimate moments ? These are easily available low priced magazines which anyone can afford!! Gone are the days when “ Roop tera Mastana” or “ Julie I love you” aesthetically picturized songs, evoked unheard sensations.  It’s a different world wherein explicit details in normal conversations are commonplace and sexting has killed all scope for unheard sensations.

Murder -2: Extramarital Movie

Murder -2: Extramarital Movie

The point is do these signs are indicative of the fact that society is on right track after having become comfortable with sex related issues? The answer is a big “No”! Just now I signed a petition that will serve as a memorandum to Commissioner of Police,  New Delhi, compelling him to take note of “Gang-rapes, sexual assaults, victim blaming, shameful rape trials” which have terribly hit Delhi/NCR.  It reported the highest number of ‘rape’ cases (414) in 2010, leading it to earn dubious distinction of being rape capital of India. The other cities are also not that safe. In Calcutta a woman was raped by five youths when they were offered lift by her in middle of the night.  In Gurgaon,  a woman pub employee was allegedly gang-raped by six youth in a flat in the city.  The sensational rape case of a BPO employee at Dhaula Kuan is still fresh in our memories.

After  such incidents males are cursed, viewing rapes in narrow perspective as subordination of females in patriarchal society a way via which males prove their superiority over females.  The feminists and intellectuals speak about ways and means to prevent rapes the way this petition talks about like better promotion of ‘women helplines, monitoring through CCTV’s,  sexual assault prevention and redressal policy, state and police sensitivity towards women, workplace safety and awareness campaigns. However, the big picture is often ignored.  At this point it would be not be out of place to suggest that the United States has the world’s highest rape rate.  A country that has high level of transparency in sexual affairs with a great freedom to indulge in sexual experimentation.  Let’s also remember it’s a society highly feminist in nature. “1 of 6 U.S. women and 1 of 33 U.S. men have experienced an attempted or completed rape” states one of the reports published several years back.

Let me state that this issue has many complex facet.  The same society that proclaims about freedom of sexual preferences and about attainment of maturity has utterly failed to address some of the key questions related with sexuality.  The same society also deals with serious issues in biased manner as its more interested in vilification of men community and sharp polarization of society for vested interests.  It boasts of sexual freedom but it loves to highlight important issues related with men and women in stereotypical way. That’s one of the greatest paradox in our times.  It’s because more women in offices means greater consumption of material goods and so none of the countries including India can dare to ignore demands associated with women as they play a great role in stabilization of nation’s economy.

Sexual Assaults: Who is the real criminal ?

Sexual Assaults: Who is the real criminal ?

However, this has led to another problem. The market oriented global society has utilized women’s efficiency not only as qualified labour but also used her sexuality to great extent in selling of the products as well which these women are producing.  Nokia sets are made in some remote part of India with the help of over burdened male and female staff and these very phones are launched at glittering ceremony, wherein one notices gorgeous male/female star accompanied by good looking females! Notice how sexuality is also being promoted along with new Nokia set!!

The problem arises here:  Youth can buy a Nokia set but how and where will they unleash their sexual energy?  That’s why it’s also promoted that we are now a country which allows many sexual preferences, enabling girls to boast “why should boys have all the fun? ” A certain sexual tension is gradually built. Want to buy a soap?  Buy one which impresses girls easily or buy one which sexy Katrina Kaif uses over her long legs!! Want to buy a toothpaste? Use one which leads to freshness of breath so that it’s easier to attract kiss of a beautiful girl? If you use certain cream you attain a great glow to attract young girls and if female is using such a cream glow of her face is sure to get her a job!! It’s not enough to see the ball reaching the boundary. See how semi naked cheer girls express their joy when ball races towards boundary! You buy something and the woman cashier at counter, being impressed by the mobile you carry, offers you condom to compensate for lack of change!!

That sort of sexual impressions are being constantly generated. These are false images. But they are powerful enough to shatter into pieces better values. They lead to dangerous conditioning of mind. As a result right people from both the sexes suffer. If you are not allowing healthy release of sexual energy even as the the mind gets hammered with sexual images of all the types will it not lead to perversions of all types?  Will it not lead to rapists and sexual offenders?  Why are only men being vilified? Why not the system in its entirety being targeted? Will tough laws that seem to punish all the men and laws which view rest of the men as potential rapists serve the purpose? I think these are not preventive measures but methods to end the human society for forever.

Now let’s talk about love as well. The same Indian society which gives the impression that it has evolved to great extent is still comprised of people having more closed mind than people living in stone age.  On the one hand, we find one reputed female editor finding extra marital affairs good for keeping marriage lively and,  on the other hand, we have societies which hang to death boy and girl for loving each other just because they belonged to different caste. One real love story gives gives rises to many problems in India.  Angry parents,  shocked relatives,  red-faced friends and hostile law authorities all make the life of lovers no less than living hell.  No wonder the path of true love is never easy.

It’s quite ironical that casual sex has so many takers if one takes into account growing number of teenage pregnancies or sex at the call centers or growing number of educated girls from good families joining prostitution to earn good money in short time but the same society is not yet ready to embrace the lovers with open arms.  That reminds me of middle class morality, which finds its appearance in dramas written by G B Shaw.  A stiff resistance often greets lovers,  who not only have to face hostile law authorities but also be face-to-face with shrewd moves of deceptive friends and relatives. Deceptive friends? Tell any friend that you are in love with some girl and you are bound to hear anyone passing this great information that she has slept with him too!! A lobby of bad friends gets in action side by side good ones, leading to dominance of half truths.  True lovers get above such traps but not all are that great willed and so most love stories end up on tragic note.

So it’s okay to be fake lovers, in which there is display of money but no real emotions. Just the way a new movie get released every Friday, a new girlfriend or boyfriend appears in life of such lovers. It’s okay to be a couple, who have no respect for each other but they are in relationship to keep the society happy or , for that matter, to keep the honour of family intact. Often such couples are involved in serious clashes and some even come to murder their partners. However, the Indian society has place for all such incidents. It treats them as part and parcel of drama called human life. What really baffles is that these same block heads who endorse all ills of societies in name of growth of society are so harsh towards lovers seriously in love with each other!! The custodians of morality still issue death warrants to them all in name of religion, caste, language and status.

Let’s hope that Indian society which is so eager to convey the impression that it has evolved and in tune with better sensibilities makes way for right people, create room for healthy relationships and removes chosen contradictions.  At present, it’s in cusp which is neither modern nor ancient.  I prefer not to treat it as a society trapped in transition.  It’s probably moving away from its core: The core made up of ancient wisdom which treated even insentient objects worthy of admiration.

Look at present age.  We are murdering our own kids-only because they fail to fulfill our expectations.  We believed that husband and wife are each other’s reflection. Today we find that most of them are living in dead relationship. We treated women as object of worship. Today she is some ‘chikni chameli’ or, if that’s not the case,  she is promoting some mobile or deodorant via the charm of her body !! Our wise present age intellectuals call prostitution the oldest profession. They forget that we have produced women who have set high precedents. Let’s not glorify trash even as we come to make way for trash to make the life attain full circle.

Sexual Violence: Too Commonplace !

Sexual Violence: Too Commonplace !


The Times Of India

The Times Of India




Mobile Advt.


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