It’s really hard to understand why lovers or couples who were so intimately involved in courtship years feel the need to move on different routes barely after few years of togetherness in a marital relationship? In my eyes, such breakdowns are indicative of weak foundation. Just the way the wall crumbles down if it’s devoid of proper foundation, the modern relationships are crumbling because they were not built upon the proper values in the formative years. At the same time it cannot be altogether denied that negative education has made newer generation hyperconscious. As a result of wrong conditioning we are not able to imbibe positive values which ensure healthy relationship. For instance, co-operation is indicative of weakness. One needs to prove one’s worth. So when competitive spirits sets in the wisdom gives ways to trickery or cleverness. One might be totally corrupt but one should know how to promote himself as saint! That’s called management funda by our modern times management gurus! We have now mastered this art. The world is being ruled by such people only. No wonder right from offices to homes are all in state of doldrums.
Some feel that new work culture in which couples do not get enough time to share qualitative moments might be the reason of rise in cases of separation. However, one needs to ask why did we give rise to such system which ensured such maddening involvement of both the sexes? On top of it, it was very cleverly filled inside the consciousness of modern women that they can live life on their own with no assistance from anyone else. Obviously, heightened individualism ensured that modern women feels it insulting to compromise or adjust! At the same time, capitalist values ensured that greed controls both the sexes. So even as the couple talked about love somewhere in the mind the desire to own big house and car or, for that matter, comforts of life remained the cherished goals.
Economic security does ensure stability but bigger financial dreams often acts as spoilsport. So bigger became our dreams, the lesser became our happiness. Above all, in an attempt to realize our dreams we created a huge distance from our real being. After all, bigger dreams cannot be realized unless we have learnt the art of deception, unless we have learnt to work like machines. Once we turned into machines the home life representative of intimate feelings became some sort of stopover. It also ensured that complexities look like part and parcel of human life; complex relationship look more meaningful than normal relationships and all lesser people got worshiped as icons of success. Against this backdrop, it’s obvious break ups are more visible than tales of long union.
Is there a way to restore lost love or lost intimacy ? Yes. However, the problem with human beings is that as they increase the subtlety of mind they coin strange terms to define human relationships. That way they make the human life more complex. Life is calmer when we rise above the such stupid notions carved by humans. Just go back in times when we were kids. We were mired in bliss since we loved life to its fullest. Now we don’t enjoy life. The new absurd categorizations which sees men and women as alpha male and alpha female have blocked the interplay of emotions humane in nature. So the most effective way to ensure a good relationship is to strike a good bond with our real being. How can we know that we have struck a perfect bond with it ? Once it happens we start thinking in simple ways. Like a walk together becomes as romantic as dinner in costly restaurant!! Let’s learn to be simple so that we regain the ability to see the world from our own eyes rather than seeing the world from eyes of corrupt souls.
I am interested in deep loving relationship between man and woman. And I am really in pain to say that as both sexes are evolving it’s become difficult for them to live together in perfect harmony. I prefer inertness of previous ages than evolution of nowadays. At least, we were able to “drink from thine eyes” quite freely without being fear of labeled as this or that.
“Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss within the cup
And I’ll not ask for wine.”
( Ben Jonson)