पुरुष अधिकार से जुड़े संघटनो की कुछ प्रमुख चिंताए:
* संशोधन का मूल प्रारूप (मुख्य बिन्दुएँ)- पतियो के खिलाफ पक्षपाती है.
* इस आधार पर तलाक मांग सकती है कि उसका दांपत्य जीवन ऐसी स्थिति में पहुंच गया है, जहां विवाह कायम रहना नामुमकिन है. ‘विवाह सम्बंध टूटने और किसी भी सूरत में रिश्ता बहाल न होने’ को भी तलाक एक आधार के रूप में मान्यता प्रदान किया गया है “हिंदू विवाह अधिनियम”, 1955, और स्पेशल मैरिज एक्ट, 1954 में.
* पत्नी को हक़ है पति की तरफ से पेश तलाक़ याचिका को विरोध करने का इस आधार पर कि वो गहन आर्थिक संकट से ग्रस्त है. कोर्ट इस गहन आर्थिक संकट से निज़ात दिलाने के प्रावधान अपने विवेक पर कर सकती है. (पतियो के संग पक्षपाती है)
* उन बच्चो के भरण पोषण का समुचित प्रबंध माता पिता के द्वारा उनकी आर्थिक हैसियत के अनुरूप जो अवैध संतति है.
संसदीय समिति- महिला संघटनो के द्वारा सुझाये गए प्रस्तावो से गलत तरह से प्रभावित है:
* ‘विवाह सम्बंध टूटने और किसी भी सूरत में रिश्ता बहाल न होने’ को भी तलाक एक आधार के रूप में मान्यता प्रदान करने की संस्तुति करना.
* महिला संघटनो के सुझावो से प्रेरित होकर उस वैवाहिक संपत्ति पर भी पत्नियों का अधिकार होगा जो विवाह के उपरांत अर्जित की गयी है दोनों के सहयोग से.
* पुरुष संघटनो के हर सुझावो की उपेक्षा की गयी.
कानून मंत्री द्वारा किये गए अन्य संशोधन- पुरुष हितो के विपरीत प्रावधानो की स्वीकृति:
* पत्नी का हिस्सा उस संपत्ति पर जो विवाह के पूर्व और उपरान्त अर्जित की गयी है.
* पत्नी का हिस्सा पति के द्वारा अर्जित और अर्जित करने योग्य पैतृक संपत्ति में.
* पत्नी का कोई योगदान नहीं होता पति के द्वारा अर्जित पैतृक संपत्ति में और उस संपत्ति पर जो उसने शादी से पूर्व अर्जित की गयी है. उसको संज्ञान में लेकर प्रावधान बनाने की जरूरत नहीं.
* उस संपत्ति के बटवारे में कोई भी फैसला जो पति ने शादी के उपरांत अर्जित की है आँख मूँदकर गलत तरीक़े से नहीं होना चाहिए। पत्नी के योगदान का आकलन करना चाहिए। दो महीने की शादी और बीस साल की शादी की अवधि को एक ही मापदंड से नहीं देखा जा सकता.
* ये तर्क दोष से बाधित संशोधन है कि स्त्रियाँ शादी को नहीं तोड़ती. स्त्रियाँ ना सिर्फ शादी को तोड़ती है बल्कि कई बार शादी कर सकती है और इस तरह पूर्व में की गयी हर एक शादी से संपत्ति अर्जित कर सकती है. इस तरह के कई उदाहरण आये दिन समाचार पत्रो में प्रकाशित होते रहते है जहा लालची पत्नियों ने धोखधड़ी से शादी करने के बाद संपत्ति पे अपना दावा पेश किया या फिर झूठे 498 A के मुकदमे दर्ज कराये संपत्ति की हवस में.
इन संशोधनों के परिणाम/अंजाम:
* वैवाहिक वादो के गहन अध्ययन के बाद ये बात स्पष्ट उभर कर आई है कि ज्यादातर वैवाहिक विखंडन का कारण पत्नी का जबर्दस्ती उस संपत्ति पर हक़ जताना रहा है जो पति या उसके रिश्तेदारो ने अर्जित की होती है.
* विवाह अपने पवित्र संस्कारो से वंचित हो जायेंगे और ये सिर्फ संपत्ति अर्जित करने का श्रोत बन जायेंगे। ये अब धीरे धीरे एक परंपरा बनती जा रही है कि भौतिक लाभ की लालसा शादी के द्वारा बढ़ती जा रही है और इस तरह के गलत संशोधनों के व्यापक दुष्परिणाम उभर कर सामने आयेंगे।
* ये अब एक प्रचलित हथियार बन गया है कि हर नाकाम वैवाहिक सम्बन्धो में स्त्रियाँ IPC 498 A और घरेलु हिंसा अधिनियम का व्यापक दुरुपयोग कर रही है संपत्ति हथियाने में. अब ये संशोधन भी एक प्रमुख औजार/ज़रिया बन जाएगा समाप्ति अर्जित करने के लिए.
* संपत्ति का अर्जन कई वर्षो की मेहनत का परिणाम होते है ना कि कुछ वर्षो के वैवाहिक संग का. असफल वैवाहिक सम्बन्धो के चलते अपनी गाढ़ी कमाई से अर्जित संपत्ति से हाथ धोने के वजह से पतियो के आत्महत्या के दर में खासी वृद्धि देखी जायेगी जो कि पहले से ही पत्नियों के आत्महत्या के दर की दुगनी है. अपराध दर में भी इस वजह से वृद्धि देखी जायेगी।
* इन अपूर्ण, गलत और भ्रामक संशोधनों को वापस लिया जाए. कानून को लिंगभेद से ऊपर रखा जाए (जेंडर न्यूट्रल), पति या पत्नी शब्द को जीवनसाथी (spouse) शब्द से सम्बोधित किया जाए.
* संपत्ति में हिस्सा पति और पत्नी के वित्तीय योगदान के आधार पर किया जाए.
* अगर वित्तीय योगदान शून्य है तो एक फॉर्मूले का ईज़ाद किया जाए जो शादी की न्यूनतम अवधि का आकलन करे संपत्ति के बॅटवारे के हेतु और उस एक फॉर्मूले का ईज़ाद हो जो योगदान के बारे में सही रूप से निरूपण कर सके.
* शादी से पूर्व इक़रारनामे (pre-nuptial agreement) को कानूनी मान्यता दी जाए.
* इस बात को बहुत तीव्रता से महसूस किया जाता रहा है कि असफल वैवाहिक सम्बन्धो के चलते पत्नियों को गहरे वित्तीय संकट का सामना करना पड़ता है. विवाह एक संस्था है जो अगर ना चले तो एक लिए पुरस्कार (पत्नी) और एक लिए सजा नहीं होना चाहिए (पति). अगर पत्नी गहरे वित्तीय संकट का सामना कर रह है तो उसकी दूरी के लिए व्यापक प्रबंध किया जाना चाहिए ना कि निरीह पति को इसके लिए दण्डित किया जाना चाहिए. इस सन्दर्भ में हमारा सुझाव ये है है कि:
# हिन्दू विवाह उत्तराधिकार एक्ट 2005 का कड़ाई से पालन किया जाना चाहिए. स्त्री का हिस्सा जो उसके माता-पिता के घर बनता है उसको या तो शादी के दौरान या तलाक़ की अर्जी देने के समय (किसी भी पक्ष के द्वारा) अपने आप दे देना चाहिए.
# अगर स्त्री बेरोजगार है या जिसका कैरियर एक लम्बे अंतराल से बाधित हो गया हो तो इस तरह के महिलाओ के भरण पोषण की जिम्मेदारी और उन्हें रोजगार मुहैय्या कराने की जिम्मेदारी सरकार की होनी चाहिए बजाय इसके कि पति पर इस तरह का भार डाला जाए. इस तरह की पत्नियों के वित्तीय संकट दूर करने के लिए “तलाकशुदा पत्नी कल्याण कोष” का गठन किया जाना चाहिए।
This is Hindi version of a letter addressed to the Parliamentarians prepared by the Men’s Rights Association.The Hindi version has been prepared by the author of this blog post.
I was once again with Radha. When all others have lost their relevance in my life, she continues to serve me like dutiful wife, opening new zones of vision each day. Who is Radha? Obviously, she cannot belong to this earthly plane. She represents my chamber of mind, which has been personified to provide it a bit of tangibility. And named Radha? To show its origin.
Night was towards its nadir. Only Radha and I were there in the dingy room, arguing over merits and demerits of certain aspect, staring into nothingness during moments of silence that too often interrupted our conversation. Of late, it has become extremely difficult for me to appease Radha. With her strange notions, she always manages to put me on the knife-edge. Later, she repents over her harshness but by then damage has become irreparable. As a damage-control measure, Radha, for few days, distances away from too much of twisting but as I am about to regain equanimity she is back to her usual business with a bang. These days intense debate is going on over the place of marriage in my life.
“So you have decided not to get married,”
“Will you please let the cat out of the bag?” she demanded with a stroke of sarcasm.
“I thought that by now you would have guessed about it. If you haven’t let me tell you that in absence of right partner, I have put this issue on the backburner”, I replied in a cool and calm way.
“What a pity! Yaar, can’t you be little pragmatic? Why are you always hell-bent on emulating a self-destructive logic? You are now well past marriage age. Think about your anxious parents…” she said before being interrupted.
“Well, lend me your ears,” I said, seeking her attention. After a moment of silence I said: ‘ Just like other obedient sons and daughters of present age! They pretend to be close to their parents but on their back care a damn about their reputation. They are always up to confrontation but for the world’s sake they project a sober picture of their maddening lives, keep marrying in the name of providing relief to the parents, but once this tamasha gets over, they immediately abandon their parents. And for rest of their life parents live a lonely life; neither the society not their faithful children show up their faces. Only the other day I read about a lady who died after fighting a long battle with a dreaded disease. Do you know what their sons were doing when her heart must be burning with a desire to see them? They were relaxing in their apartments in Canada, came back seven or eight months later after so many reminders?
“No, I did not mean that, what I am trying to convey is that your parents be greatly relieved once you get married. After all, haven’t they raised you up amid comforts? Aren’t you ashamed over your callousness which has burdened their hearts with additional pain besides those emanating from worldly concerns?”, asked Radha stubbornly.
“Do you understand, Radha, do you anticipate the real motives in the words flowing out unconsciously from the bosom. You are mistaken if you find this sort of thing fit for casual execution; it’s not as simple as it appears to be. Listen, children should never be made vehicle for carrying out ambitions of the parents. Since you have brought them up it becomes obligatory for them to serve your interests, such uttering sound blasphemous. When such intimate relations are build up to ignite selfish considerations, no matter how noble your intentions may be, what is the need to carve place for lofty ideals in our lives? To rope in your bogus expectations, all in the name of rituals would only make the values redundant, existing in our life like lightening in the clouds!
“I understand it all! You are trying to make suspect myself. But remember, you could no longer fool me by spooky versions, “said Radha caught in whirlpool of contradictory emotions. I was smiling being aware of the fact that she was on the brink of losing ground.
“Radha, at least you should not be mindless in criticizing my stand point. Parents, Chachas*, Mamas*, friends and other near and dear ones, have put to sleep their analytical faculty, drugged their discrimination, having given way to compromises. It doesn’t hurt me at all as I know well that such relations are guided by second-rate convictions, frequently changing color to remain in sync with the world. Don’t you think concerns like marriage, job and etc. must be perforce choice of an individual, more so if he or she has attained a level of maturity? The only factor that should be given utmost importance is that whether or not it leads to beneficial changers for people around. If it doesn’t violate the above-mentioned condition, I don’t feel anyone has the right to question about its worth.”
“Now look at the fate,” trembling with passion I said, “of married couples, those who in the eyes of world have been sincere in honoring the wishes of their parent. Be sure, I am not trying to pass a moral judgment on one of the most respectable institutions established by our forefathers with great care. But one cannot ignore the degeneration that has wiped away its finer aspects. They quarrel over trivial issues, hurl choicest abuses at each other, emotionally and intellectually so wide apart yet living together for fulfillment of physical desires, meaningless union but could not separate owing to societal compulsions and yet in the eyes of the world they belong to honorable class of people. Why? Just because they are the by-product of time-tested institution! In other cases husbands and wives are living shattered lives, thanks to the ups and downs of the realistic life, existing merely as instruments with no time to exchange compliments. In some exaggerated examples, both the partners are found trapped in immoral affairs. Reason-not satisfied with each other desperately and now need a change coupled with experimentation! I wonder in age of so many revolutionary isms, it would be highly unfair to treat immoral as immoral. Give it a respectable place, or, simply vanish.”
I said all this with a provocative smile. Not willing to give her room to cast stones at me, I went ahead with my views “What hurts me is elders stubborn refusal to learn lesson from their past mistakes. Having witnessed the consequence of pursuing faulty line of action, they come up with another set of perverse notions. The most shameful thing is that they don’t regret at all. I am horrified over the dullness of these ‘experienced’ brains, which are so cocksure about efficiency of their worn-out ways and means. It was indeed grave mistake that I came to assume repentance unleashed wisdom in their consciousness.”
For some reason, this greatly moved her. Refusing the emotion let loose on her head she said: “Forgive me, I wasn’t aware of the seriousness of the crises. Yes, you are right that one should not expect anything worthwhile from people with a very limited vision. But I am more concerned about you. In all this drama, it’s you who have suffered the most, being the victim of events, which were not entirely your own making. Let them resort to such desperate remedies, at this point of time, I would like to know about your steps to diffuse the crisis.”
“Radha, it’s never has been a well-guarded secret. In fact, the very clarity of my purpose has often allowed others to sabotage it. The likes of worldly experts have left little room for bringing in better choices, yet I have not lost hopes. One thing is crystal clear that it’s not going to fall in the same bracket of affairs like gambling. Instead of being dictated by hazy vision, personal complexes and inflated egos of aberrated minds, the decision should emanate from deeper realm of intellect, leaving no room for setbacks in the future.”
“But suppose such a holistic version refuses to materialize in your life?” she questioned thoughtfully. She was aware of the fact that rudeness of life does not provide humane approaches many chances to germinate.
“Radha, you are now loosing your sense of proportion. Is it sin to go beyond the dictates of people whose thinking abilities are covered in cobwebs? It is crime to provide life and vibrancy to your prized affairs? Perhaps it’s better to move alone than to be part of nightmarish experiences all your life, under the veneer of traditions and rigorous social customs.”
Radha half-whispered to herself and for a while allowed the silence to reign. She was unsuccessfully trying to conceal her tears, something that prevented her to go ahead with the conversation. Being absorbed in the same state of mind she exclaimed, “ I am afraid you would not be able to survive for too long in the world reserved solely for dogs! I know well that sensitive souls like you cannot survive without a companion. When that was the case, why didn’t you find one molded in your perception?”
“Well, a chance encounter had dragged me towards such a soul, but before it could blossom, it succumbed to the primitive-thoughtlessness of the pseudo-crusaders of the society. These perfect spoilsports who are mired in unspeakable affairs attain a sacrosanct position in these matters; on their verdicts innocent souls are mercilessly butchered without given a slight chance to communicate their intentions. As the days pass away, souls like us slowly get reduced to ashes amid gross activities of average everyday life.” “ I am eager to know her name, my dear fellow” Radha insisted.
“What is in the name? For me, she was simply your reflection! That’s all,” I suddenly said, looking straight at her face.
“Hm-that’s all right- but what about your friends? Why didn’t they conceive a strategy to pull you out of the mess?” she asked, blushing with gloomy eyes.
“It’s a sad reflection, but I could not resist myself from making a confession that they were enemies masquerading as friends. It seems strange but they left no opportunity, like bunch of cheap crooks, to create nuisance at defining moments. Worse, after causing the debacle, they were little ashamed in delivering absurd suggestions, to view the whole episode as hand-work of destiny! It was indeed misplaced trust on these determined liars, who with help of their half-truths, spelled doom for me. Though I wanted to retain the illusion of recognizing them as friends for a longer time, however, their sincerity towards shrewdness made it impossible.”
“So now you are all alone! Being burdened with awesome grief how are you going to remain on the right-track, one that makes the journey of life fruitful? You are in terrible state of loss!” burst out Radha with restless anxiety. Evidently, she was quite out of her wits, all the time eyes were glued on her feet, momentarily rising up to stare at my face with sad and severe look that left me horrified.
“Radha! I find myself trapped in the body. I don’t want to get identified with fifth of this sort, an identification that has now little meaning for me except initiating cycle of meaningless cause and effects. Give me blue, for survival” I said in a distinct tone.
“Blue? What does it stand for?” asked Radha in a trembling voice with a cold smile.
“Radha, you seem to have fallen in league of present day politicians, who so easily forget their promises! I am surprised to find you so forgettable a person. Just a little while ago, haven’t I attributed it to you as your intrinsic nature?” no sooner had I asked this I found her giving way to strange look.
Later, a smile dipped in divinity, flashed across her face. The night has changed her tempo, inviting the dawn to unfold its magic. Meanwhile, Radha has embraced my consciousness, placing me in her domain – unending stretch of blueness that came to annihilate our distinction, making us one forever.
Chacha: Brother Of Father
Mama: Brother Of Mother
The Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill 2010 has raised a storm in the legal circles and among bodies representing rights of men. The bodies advocating for men’s rights like Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) have lambasted the latest amendment on ground that it promotes misandry in society. Even in legal circles, allowing wife right to oppose the grant of a decree, if she happens to be respondent, on the ground that the dissolution of the marriage will result in grave financial hardship to her but denying the same right to husband is being seen as violation of the principle inherent in Article 14 related with Right to Equality.
In my eyes, the response is just the reverse. I appreciate the amendment and I condemn the media and Men’s Rights Association that they have reacted in immature manner without bothering to having a close look at the Amendment. The Amendment nowhere talks about distribution of husband’s property -an impression generated by SIFF and Indian media. We should learn to appreciate good laws. However, I too have my fears and doubts but they differ hugely from the mainstream media or, for that matter, associations championing the cause of men.
This amendment had became a necessity after Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, and the Special Marriage Act, 1954 were modified to meet the new changes in the society. It was presented in the Parliament last year, keeping in mind suggestions made by the Parliamentary Standing Committee on Personnel, Public Grievances, Law and Justice. It would be quite interesting to know that demand to include “Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage as a Ground of Divorce” came into limelight some three decades ago. That prompted the Law Commission to take note of this issue. It dealt with this issue in its 71st Report titled “The Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 — Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage as a Ground of Divorce” which was submitted in April, 1978, and made this recommendation that “irretrievable breakdown of marriage” should be made a new ground for granting a decree of divorce.
The Bill cites two judgement delivered by Supreme Court which acted as a catalyst: Ms. Jorden Diengdeh vs. S.S. Chopra(AIR 1985 SC 935) and Naveen Kohli vs. Neelu Kohli (AIR 2006 SC 1675). Both theses judgments laid emphasis on bringing suitable changes in Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 so that irretrievable breakdown of marriage could serve as an additional ground for divorce. The Law Commission once again came to the fore when it took suo moto cognizance of the issue, presenting its 217th Report titled ‘Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage —Another Ground for Divorce’ to the government in year 2009.
It can be noticed that Congress governments have been pretty much conscious to introduce laws, which give an upper hand to weaker sex so that it can be seen as champion of women’s rights. It’s very much similar to its approach in the case of minorities, which it tries to woo with anti constitutional measures. The same Congress government miserably failed to protect the sanctity of important Constitutional bodies like Governor of States and Comptroller and Auditor General of India (CAG). After all, how dare CAG came to point out irregularities in the allocation of radio spectrum? No need to talk about role of governors who turned out to be puppets instead of acting as bridge between Centre and States. It also weakened Judiciary by making it in constant conflict with Parliament over its power to interpret the laws in independent manner. The Congress governments in subtle ways have always tried to weaken all the institutions that came to curb its lust for power. Of late, we find that it’s chiefly focused to appease minorities and women. One can easily sense why it’s so? It’s because these two constitute its vote bank. It’s neither bothered about quality of life nor its interested in making the nation on right track. How else can one justify the way it dragged important institutions into controversy- the latest being army row?
Let’s grasp this fact very well that all dubious laws have been framed by Congress government in the name of good intentions. The same laws created with good intentions become so terrible that Supreme Court Court is left with no other option other than to treat the Dowry Act as instrument of legal terrorism. The SC/ST Act is another draconian law that has left deep scars on the societal structure operating in India. The point is if laws are allowed to operate in the flawed system they do not serve the purpose for which they have been created. They become medium to harass and frustrate the right people. The better way to improve the society is not only have good laws but also have a system that makes implementation of the laws in proper way.
Coming to the latest amendment made in Marriage Act, it’s good that government is conscious that divorce petitions if get trapped in the battle of egos hurt the interest of both the parties interested in quick separation. What it fails to recognize that granting only one side to oppose the petition, the wife, would only make the life of husband miserable, who is already reeling under many other flawed laws. It’s highly shocking that despite noticing trend in previous laws – the gross misuse of provisions providing upper hand to women- the government grants women the power to oppose such petitions in the name that ” dissolution of the marriage will result in grave financial hardship”. However, it conveniently forgets that dissolution is equally painful and shocking, emotionally as well as financially, for men community? Why have been they denied the chance to oppose the petition on the same ground ?
It’s not hard to ascertain that government is not ready to accept the new changes that have hit the Indian society. For instance, it is not ready to believe that women are highly aggressive and violent in our times, and, therefore, make necessary changes in Domestic Violence Act. Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty in one of the news items published recently says ” Domestic violence by women is grossly underreported as the law is heavily weighed against men.” It would be interesting to see when is Law Commission going to wake up and take suo moto cognizance of new behavioral patterns in women and make necessary changes in laws related with them? The problem with Law making bodies is that they deal with issues in narrow terms and hence the laws framed often miss the mark. The other point is bit complex in nature. The Women’s Commission in tandem with Women’s Rights activists and NGOs promotes emancipation of women, which has created more room for individualistic traits in women with heightened ego.
It’s really strange that we are creating more grounds of separation and, on the other hand, we are equally conscious that divorce becomes an easy task. Instead of making quality of life better, we are manufacturing new grounds of separation. On top of it, the flawed laws that ignore the abusive nature of women, the painful ignorance about the fact that men can be silent sufferers and the deep rooted prejudices which readily presume men guilty and women a holy cow have only led to collapse of family structure in India. It’s better that we device ways and means to ensure union and smooth relationship than ensuring easy divorce. Anyway, this amendment needs to be welcomed as it , at least, provides the trapped partners a chance to start new lives again than being engaged in endless battle. One hopes that it is not misused by the shrewd wives to manipulate and dictate terms.